A New Year


I wanted to write about Australia while the memories were still fresh (there’s still more coming) but that means that I’ve put off other posts.  Like New Years.  Usually I avoid those kind of arbitrary milestone posts because on their own they don’t really mean much.  They’re like birthdays, it’s just a number, nothing has really changed from the day before.  This year though, I actually wanted to write.

The beginning of 2014 I was bored, lonely, and indifferent about my life.  Things weren’t all bad but life was dull and without any promising prospects I didn’t have a lot of optimism for the future.  I was just kind of trudging through, surviving day to day.

The end of 2014, December 31st, I was in Australia with Sharn and a few of her friends, drinking and watching the Sydney New Years Eve fireworks on the TV.  Like usual, I did a mental review of the year and was surprised at just how crazy 2014 was.  Most of my year-end reviews don’t have much to comment on but 2014 was different.  There were so many ups and downs and all-arounds.  Good, bad, and just about everything in between. Continue reading

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#TeamAJ – Just Friends


This morning I kind of gave Ann an ultimatum.  I felt like we were in relationship limbo and couldn’t stand it anymore.  I told her I wanted to figure out a way to move forward, I was sitting at the negotiating table and needed to know whether she was going to sit down or walk away.  She agreed to talk about it over the phone this evening.  She wrote A short list of desires about what she wants and what she needs.  At the end of the post you can see her internal tug-of-war over the our discussion.

All day I was sweating, I knew what was going to happen.

Ann was going to do the right thing and dump me.

I totally deserved it.  If you read her post My Biggest Heart Break, you’ll know that just before their marriage her ex dumped her, they got back together but she was devastated and she never looked at him the same.  She regretted not listening to her gut and leaving him then, she never wanted to make that mistake again. Continue reading

Retroactive Conversion


I had a long phone call with Ann the other night.  We’re still sorting through injuries, it’s kind of hard to see the forest for the trees right now but we’re talking.

We were trying to figure out why everything was fine then suddenly wasn’t.  I went from 0-60 almost immediately.  There wasn’t any build up, where did it come from?  There weren’t any warning signs, it was like the ground just dropped out from under my feet.

I didn’t communicate better because it caught me off guard as much as it did her.  So, we’re trying to understand it.

Basically, I was completely fine with where we were until she went out with another guy (do I need to remind you that it’s not about sex?).   There were a hundred little things over the previous month but I was okay with them, they were completely understandable and acceptable at the time.  I thought we had a solid foundation, rationale, and everything made sense.  Then, suddenly it didn’t. Continue reading

Post Visiting Ann: The relationship talk


One of the things on our “To Do” list for my visit with Ann was to have the relationship talk.  Yeah… I wasn’t really looking forward to that one.

Ann and I have a problem, none of the general relationship statuses work for the two of us.  Monogamous, non monogamous, polyamorous, etc. No matter what we tried someone was going to start chaffing.

Open – At our distance, open makes sense and that’s what Ann needs right now.  I’m fine with open but Ann was really hurt when I went out during our open phase, which was why we switched to closed until my August visit.

Closed – A closed relationship at a distance?  Yeah, that could be problematic.  I can do closed but Ann just got out of a rough, 15 year marriage and needs her freedom.

Uneven – Ann open, me closed.  During my marriage, I was cheated on several times.  I need an honest, up front and even relationship. Continue reading

Visiting Ann: Leaving my love


**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.  This particular post was written my flight home.**

(I wrote this post on the plane ride home after the visit with Ann.)

American Airlines has this weird boarding music, a solo piano player doing top 40 hits with no vocals. It’s an interesting, slightly disconcerting sound track. You sit down, hardly noticing the quiet, slow paino tunes until it tickles an ear worm… then you spend the next three minutes trying to figure out what song it is.

(Not my video, but glad someone else thought it was strange enough to be note worthy)

In theory, the music should be pretty neutral, pop that has been toned down a bit by the solo piano. However, on this flight, for some reason every tune seems distinctly melancholy.

But maybe that’s just me.  Leaving is always a melancholy affair.

Once again, I’m on a plane flying away from my love. Considering the awful experiences I’ve had with the airlines, I’m starting to feel like I’m being kicked while I’m already down. It’s not fair, but then life rarely is.

Continue reading

Visiting Ann: the Ex and more sex


**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.**

One of the things about visiting Ann that might have been really awkward was meeting her ex-husband.

Ann set up a good schedule beforehand but at least once we would be picking up or dropping off her son with the ex.  Sure, I could have made an excuse and bowed out but the purpose of the trip was to see how well Ann and I got along with each other in our normal lives, meeting the people in her life was one part of that. He might be her ex but he’s also the father of her son and will obviously play some role in her life for the foreseeable future. We needed to know if we could get along. Continue reading

Visiting Ann: a cock block and a party pt 3


**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.**

A cock block and a party pt 1

A cock block and a party pt 2

When I ran out of excuses to hang out in the kitchen Ireluctantly moved into the crowds at the party to socialize.  I’ve never been a big fan of large parties, they’re not really my thing.  But… Ann wanted me to meet her friends, I wanted to make a good impression, so I sucked it up and stepped out.

Honestly, this party was kind of a risky thing for me.  Ann knew how little I liked parties, large groups of people, she had originally planned a small get together but it kept growing.  There were all these people she wanted me to meet and it just made sense to do as much of the meeting as possible all at once.  We only had ten days, neither of us wanted to have a dozen meet-n-greets scattered throughout our time together.  But I don’t like parties.  It became something of a joke between the two of us.  Out of all the things we did have scheduled, meeting her ex, the threesome, meeting her parents, the party was the only thing that made me nervous.

Fortunately, Ann has awesome friends.  Ann is almost a decade older than me, most of her guests were older than me, I’m pretty sure I was the youngest person at the party.  It could have easily been awkward but somehow it wasn’t.  Everyone was really nice, friendly, and the conversations were easy. Continue reading

Visiting Ann: a cock block and a party pt 2


**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.**

Continued from A cock block and a party pt 1.

When you’re in love even mundane tasks can be a lot of fun.  As we shopped for her party, Ann and I laughed, flirted, and practically skipped around the grocery store, hand in hand.

Ann made choosing cheeses sexy. She’d be shopping, sorting through items, and give me a steamy look.  Yeah, just you wait until we’re behind closed doors.

As we shopped, every once and a while I stopped her, pulled her closer to me, and wrapped my arms around her.  Our lips would meet briefly, our hips pressed together.

Over and over.  Aisle after aisle.

Yeah, we were the lovey-dovey couple, getting all cutesy in public, that pisses off all the single people.  Well, too bad for them.  I only had ten days with Ann and I was absolutely going to make the most of it. Continue reading

Stick with me, babe


I still have a few more posts in the works about my visit with Ann, but had some fun inspiration today.

Those of you who have been reading know I really don’t care about stats at all, I write purely for myself, but I am also a bit addicted to puzzles.  I’m always looking for patterns and cycles.   So, sometimes it’s fun to look at my stats as a tool to examine reader behavior and interests.  In other words, I don’t care how many views I get but I’m very interested in human behavior, so what posts interest readers interests me.

Recently, I noticed a bit of a spike.  Well, spike is an understatement.

8-31-14 Continue reading

Visiting Ann: 2-0, jacuzi pt 2


**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.**

Continued from pt 1.

After our long, frustrating, sex-less drive we finally made it to our destination, a small town outside of Ann’s city.  We made our way through a few tourist attractions.  We had some fun and took some sickeningly cute selfies that won’t be shared here.

After the attractions it was starting to get dark so we made our way back to the hotel.  Ann had done some thorough research on the hotel and informed me that there was an outdoor jacuzzi.  And it was open late.   After some searching, wandering around the hotel in swim suits and bath robes, we found it.

The two other couples in the jacuzzi were leaving as we arrived.  Perfect.  Obviously, our intent was to mess around, the fewer patrons the better.  We entered the warm waters, watched the other patrons leave, and moved to the far end.  We kissed and cuddled in the hot water, our wet bodies sliding all over each other.  She sat on my lap, my arms wrapped around her, my hand sliding under her suit bottom.  Ann was wearing a two piece bathing suit, my fingers quickly found their way under her bottoms and into her pussy. Continue reading