I’m not a nice guy anymore


I’ve realized something over the last… year, I guess.  I’m not a nice guy anymore.  

Depending on how long you’ve been following me that might not make much sense, but for most of my life I was the absolute, stereotypical, boy scout, “nice guy”.  I was the first to forgive pretty much anything.  Easy going?  I was a pushover.  Second chances?  Hell, lets push it to fourth or fifth chances.  I had friends, girlfriends and regular acquaintances that treated me like shit and I put up with it.  Wasn’t forgiving them, being there for them when they needed it the important thing?  I let the whole world lean on me, I took care of everyone else.

I’ve actually written about bits and pieces of this over the years as the nice guy act broke down.  About how I was pushing off my issues by trying to help other people with theirs, but that’s only part of the problem.  I think the larger part has to do with my appalling lack of self worth during those years. Continue reading

Advertisements

TEOTWAWKI


I read an article today that was interesting, it was about how over sensitized some people have become, especially in colleges.  Teachers have been fired, Universities embarrassed, and many are still struggling over how to handle it.  Essentially, anything can be seen as offensive or uncomfortable to somebody.  What’s fine for one student/reader/etc. will be bothersome to another.  They’ve talked about making important writings and courses optional because someone might be bothered by it.

There are plenty of examples in the article:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

Now, while that seems a little scary and strange, I realized it tied into one of my other theories about how the internet will lead to TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It, for non-survivalist reality tv show types.  C’mon, I know you laugh at Doomsday Preppers).  I joke about social media and smartphones being signs of the Apocalypse but this is a bit more serious. Continue reading

A Dangerous Precedent?


It seems like every time I check my news feed I see half a dozen articles that piss me off.  I should really just stop reading the news, it always puts me in a bad mood.

Today I read a piece on the Huffington Post, “Why the Boy Scouts new policy on gays sets a dangerous precedent.”  Article.

Before I go into the wrongness of the article I’ll give you a little background on myself.  I was an active member in boy scouts for many years, during that time (fifteen years or so ago) were the first debates about homosexuals in scouting.  I came down firmly on the side of gay rights.  It was too early then, the changes were shot down.  Many boy scout troops are also sponsored by religious organizations, mainly Christian, something else I was not a fan of, but that was the driving force behind the ban on homosexuals in the organization.

However… I think the BSA (Boy Scouts of America) just made a step in the right direction and opinion pieces like the one in the Huffington Post are steps in the wrong direction. Continue reading

How to fix your icon in the reader


I mentioned previously that I really hate the new changes to the WP reader.  Well, at least we can fix one small part of them.

When WordPress made its most recent changes all the sudden our Gravitar stopped showing up next to our names by our posts.  WP stopped putting the Gravitars up and started putting up something else (Why do we have Gravitars if they aren’t going to use them?), which is stupid on so many levels and took me forever to to fix it.  I thought I should show the steps here and maybe some of you can avoid the headache.

In your reader click “My Site” on the top left.  On that page, click “WP Admin” to go to your dashboard.  Yes, you cannot fix this stupid update in the new blue screen.

Once you’re on your dashboard scroll down on the menu on the left hand side to “Settings”, a window will pop up with sub categories, select “General”.

On the general setting page, upper right will be a section for “Blog Picture/Icon”.  That’s where you can add the pic that will show up next to your posts.

My Site > WP Admin > Settings > General > Blog Pic/Icon

**Your experience may differ but it took WP about 12 hours to ‘accept’ my photo and update it in the reader.**

Know the rules


This is not a blog about writing, however, it is a place for ranting.  Many of the bloggers that I follow also write stories, some even write books, but over and over I see the same mistakes and it’s driving me nuts.  If you’ve been following me for long enough you might remember the series of posts I did about poets last year, I’m just as hard on fiction writers.  What bugs me is how few of these writers really focus on learning their craft before putting it out for the world to see.


I’m not talking about a missed comma here and there, I never pay much attention to them and as long as it isn’t frequent it’s forgivable, I’m talking about the style rules.  If I see a book blurb, a first page, or the beginning of a post that violates these rules I don’t even bother reading further.  Nope, it’s not worth it, the rest of the story/poem/book is probably just as bad. Continue reading

Jurassic World


I don’t usually do reviews of things but I’ve decided to make an exception.

Did you know that Michael Crichton died a few years back?  Yeah, I hadn’t known either until I checked his Wikipedia page two years ago, looking for some other piece of information, and was startled to see that he’d passed.  How was that not huge news?  How did I not know about that?  He’s one of my favorite writers and insanely talented (he was also a Doctor, all around talented).  I’m a huge fan of Michael Crichton’s work and an equally big fan of the first Jurassic Park movie and the books.

All that to say, I hope he’s looking down and laughing at the people who put together Jurassic World. Continue reading

CV on our sleeves


You ever have one of those days when you feel like everyone in the world is stupid?  A bunch of self-centered pricks?  And what’s worse is when they decide they need to share their wisdom by providing advice, either online or in real life.

That got me to thinking, There are so many bloggers out there that provide advice about relationships, life, and just about everything under the sun, myself included.  But should they?

If you were going to get financial advice, you’d want to see someone with qualifications, experience, and with a lot of financial success.  You’d want to see degrees on the wall, a nice car parked out front, and a suit that isn’t off the rack.  You’d want to know they’re the right person to give you advice.  They need to be a representation of the place you want to be.  They’ve made it, so they can advise you on how to make it.  On the other hand, if you showed up and noticed a bunch of overdue bills on the desk, an eviction notice on the door, you probably wouldn’t take the financial advice very seriously. Continue reading

Writing as introspection


Blogging has always been in some form or another a kind of introspection for me.  I never wrote for an audience, I wrote for myself.  It was all about finding a way to understand and explain myself to me, dig into my life, my feelings deeper.

More recently, I’ve found interesting parallels in my fiction writing.  By interesting I mean borderline scary.

Several months ago I went to see a therapist for the first time.  It’s something that I’d wanted to do for a while, I hoped that it would be like an interactive form of writing…  me finding ways to explain things to someone else (like writing) but then having that person ask questions that might give me another perspective in a safe environment.  In case you hadn’t noticed, I take my anonymity, my secrets, quite seriously.  The only way I could really talk to someone about anything, everything honestly was in a situation where I could trust their discretion. Continue reading

Observed first date


So, I’m at the coffee shop where I normally go to write and I find myself distracted by the patrons.  This shop is never busy, that’s why I come here.  Today, there are two people in particular drawing my attention.

Have you ever seen a couple that are obviously on their first date?  Yeah…

This particular couple irritates me. I really want to walk up to this chick, shake her, and tell her to go home and lose his number.

I’ve mentioned to you readers a few times that I’m pretty good at reading people and situations, and what I see this afternoon is so irksome that it’s distracting me. Continue reading

What’s acceptable online?


What’s kind of ironic is that this post was started days ago and recent events have just added further incentive to finish it.

When I wonder what’s appropriate online, my first thought is whether or not it’s something that I would say to someone’s face.   Or, how would I feel if the roles were reversed?  This post I’m writing, who could be offended?  Is this something I would tell them in person?  This comment on a post I’m writing, is that something I would say to someone’s face?

If I said this to someone in person, would I get punched in the face?  Or vice versa.

I see a lot of stuff online that wouldn’t pass any of those tests (or shouldn’t, at least).  I see it and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.  Sexist, racist, disrespectful, hateful comments that people would never (should never) say to each other in real life. Continue reading