I genuinely don’t know how to write any of this because, quite literally, the possibility never occurred to me… but somehow the unthinkable seems to have happened. Not just unthinkable, un-fucking-fathomable. You might imagine me perched over a type writer, fingernails chewed to the quick, trying to think of witty one-liners, but the truth is I just feel hollow. Gutted. It feels like this is all a form of mass hysteria, as though there’s still a chance to wake up in the morning and find out this all one sick dream. Please, god, if you grant a single prayer in this poor agnostic man’s life, let this all be one really bad dream.
I would probably be crying right now if I wasn’t so fucking scared, and fear is barely winning the war over shame at this point. I am so fucking ashamed of my country tonight. And, as a veteran, I don’t say that lightly.
If this somehow isn’t mass hysteria, or a really bad dream, or a fucked up episode of Punked… all I can do is apologize to the world. I am truly, desperately sorry that this shit is happening. This makes Americans look fucking awful, I know. I can only say that most of us are sane, decent human beings… or at least I thought so until today. As cynical as I claim to be, at heart I believe the true nature of human beings revolves around kindness and generosity. In my book, those are the core principles of humanity – kindness and generosity, especially toward our fellow human beings. That something like this could have happened seriously shakes my faith in humanity, and that isn’t some blogger hyperbole. Tonight is a night that needs no exaggeration. Fellow Americans broke my heart in way I hadn’t thought possible.
I went to the polls, I held my nose and voted for the only candidate. I did what I could, so I refuse to take a full portion of the blame for what’s to come… and there will be a lot of blame being thrown around in the years to come.
To the next generation, I apologize. Shit just got a lot worse for you, I know. Us parents, and our parents before us, had already done a pretty good job fucking up the world for you, I guess this is just the icing on the proverbial apocalyptic cake. If we hadn’t left you with an impossible future before, it’s certainly a magnitude closer now.
At this late hour on the end of a psychedelic, bad trip of a day I’ll leave you all with one last, sad premonition: Unfortunately, my fellow Americans, almost all of us are going to live long enough to profoundly regret not doing more to prevent this from happening.