Conversations to avoid with your FWB

Just in case you were wondering, yesterday’s post was an April Fools joke.  Though apparently “I’m voting for he-who-shall-not-be-named” was a popular one yesterday, and you all know me too well, because I didn’t get any freaked out responses.

I mean, c’mon, I won’t even name the guy here because he doesn’t need any more free publicity.  He’s either he-who-shall-not-be-named or maybe-anti-christ, which is a little ironic because so much of the Republican base is composed of fundamentalists.

The only reason I bring this up, other than to point out yesterday’s joke, is to talk about conversations you should avoid with your FWB.  Or, in my case, ex-FWB.

Jane and I have maintained the friendship part of our FWB arrangement even though we stopped having the benefits.

What’s kind of amusing though, is how little we know sometimes about the people we have casual relationships with.  I mean, I thought I knew her pretty well, but when the conversation turned to politics last week I was in for a surprise.

He-who-shall-not-be-named was in the headlines for some of his usual ridiculousness.  I made a joke at his expense.

Her response?  “Yeah, but he’s still better than the other options.”

I did the whole comical double take, mouth hanging open.  Whaaaaaa?  Are you kidding me?

To clarify a little bit on why I was shocked; Jane is a minority, she’s young, she’s educated, she’s very open minded in certain areas.  In my mind, none of those things are associated with you know who’s supporters.  However, she’s also religious.  Now, I’d never really thought about her faith in any serious terms because, well, we were very kinky FWBs for a while, she’s divorced, and she doesn’t really talk about her Church.  But apparently, it plays a much larger role than I suspected.

The conversation went on for a while and her argument boiled down to “Well, who else is there?”  And, to a small degree, I can empathize with her situation.  I mean, I have a hard time imagining ever being a Republican, but if I was I’d be pretty f***ing disappointed with the current options too.

Cruz is a a sniveling little, back stabbing, lying, greasy wannabe who’ll do and say whatever it takes to get ahead, no matter how despicable.  If you google “most hated man in washington” the first page is all articles about Cruz.  And that’s what his contemporaries have to say about him.  You think he’s going to be able to convince all those same people to vote for anything he proposes if, god forbid, he becomes the leader of the free world?  How is he going to get anything done?  And even if he does, he’s so fundamentalist his ideas are terrifying.

Kasich seems like a mostly reasonable dude but nobody thinks he’s got a chance in hell.  Bush or Rubio would have been half decent candidates, for Republicans anyway, but they were shot down fast.

So, who does that leave?  I mean, the Republicans are truly screwed this election cycle.  There are no good options and even the “least worst” are terrible.  The pundits wonder how maybe-anti-christ can shake off the massive blunders that would have killed any other campaign but the reason is simple, who else have they got?

The conversation with Jane was actually quite interesting.  We agreed on most points, we’re just different parties.  That might have bothered me if I thought he-who-shall-not-be-named had a chance in hell of winning.  Sure, he’s at the top of the polls in his races but that really doesn’t mean shit these days, especially considering a large percentage of his “base”, Republicans, are just as against him as the Democrats are.  What other candidate has a #NeverXXX that’s trending among his own party.

I’ve got some liberal friends that are terrified of the guy, but I just laugh.  He doesn’t have a chance in hell, and I’m not just talking about the polls that show he’ll lose no matter who the democratic candidate is (stats).  He’s too divisive, even for a Republican.

Look at it like this, pretend for a second that the US hasn’t been trending more liberal over the last decade and just look at the population breakdown (reference).  More than half the US adult population is women.  He has a 71% unfavorable opinion among women, so already he’s got a major handicap.  Sure, some will hold their nose and vote for him anyway but we’re not done yet.  40% of the US adult population is composed of minorities.  Who polls poorly among minorities?  You guessed it.  There are around 80 million millenials in the US, most of which lean liberal.  That’s where Sanders has been getting most of his votes.  They overwhelmingly poll in favor of the democrats.  Who does that leave?  Middle aged, white, male, lower middle class, republicans.  That’s a tiny, tiny slice of the cross section of the US population.

The bottom line is that He-who-shall-not-be-named is part of a party with a base that’s already dwindling and he’s gone so far to alienate those that remain he’s just shooting himself in the foot.  His slice of the American pie shrinks every time he opens his mouth.  He’s a joke and doesn’t seem to be aware of it yet.

That said, now I know not to bring up politics or religion with future FWBs.  It’s a good thing me and Jane aren’t fooling around anymore, I don’t think I could bring myself to sleep with someone who’s on the wrong side of my politics.  Actually, I could but I’d probably be conflicted about it afterwards.  Maybe.

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One thought on “Conversations to avoid with your FWB

  1. I figured the statement from yesterday had to be a joke. Phew!

    I learned (itinerary February) as well that when it comes to FWB’s it’s often better to avoid too much conversation in general. It can be a total sex-killer. 😦

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