I’ve realized something over the last… year, I guess. I’m not a nice guy anymore.
Depending on how long you’ve been following me that might not make much sense, but for most of my life I was the absolute, stereotypical, boy scout, “nice guy”. I was the first to forgive pretty much anything. Easy going? I was a pushover. Second chances? Hell, lets push it to fourth or fifth chances. I had friends, girlfriends and regular acquaintances that treated me like shit and I put up with it. Wasn’t forgiving them, being there for them when they needed it the important thing? I let the whole world lean on me, I took care of everyone else.
I’ve actually written about bits and pieces of this over the years as the nice guy act broke down. About how I was pushing off my issues by trying to help other people with theirs, but that’s only part of the problem. I think the larger part has to do with my appalling lack of self worth during those years. Continue reading