I should clarify, most people disappoint eventually -thus the Super Villain Johnny posts I did- but it’s even worse involving people online. And before anyone gets any ideas, this isn’t about anyone specific, it’s the culmination of quite a few experiences over the past few weeks.
I haven’t been writing here much because this site is in a weird limbo place for me. When I started blogging it wasn’t really to connect with people, not at first anyway, it was just to have a place to write whatever the fuck I wanted to write. My life was in a crazy place and I didn’t have anyone in real life I was comfortable talking to, so I wrote it all out. It helped keep me sane.
The other side of blogging is that it does eventually connect you with people that have similar interests, situations, problems, etc. It’s really easy to make connections, but how much quality is there? It’s so much easier to ignore someone, be rude, or whatever, when the interactions aren’t face to face. And there are so many people with different agendas online. How many of us have been spammed by followers who just want us to check out their “How to improve blog traffic” websites? Eventually, we weed through the BS to find ‘real’ people that seem to ‘get’ us.
But then, when you’re ultimately disappointed by some of those people online it screws everything up. The blog isn’t really anonymous anymore because you have relationships with people, when they piss me off I don’t feel like sharing anymore. Why should they be privy to my innermost thoughts and what’s going on in my life? Screw them. I gave them time and energy and opportunities for real connections and they blew it.
So, why post anything? Maybe I should just stick to “Evil Johnny” cartoons when the mood suits. Or I could just disappear and leave the assholes guessing. Which, I have to admit is quite tempting. I’ll always be a writer, and I’ll probably always have a blog, but that doesn’t mean I have to post anything here.
I don’t know, I’m just tired and frustrated of always being disappointed.