Chasing the Green Dragon

My dog has a few strange traits, one of which is her abhorrence of loud vehicles.  I’m pretty sure that in her head volume = evil, the louder it is the worse it is.

Among the many devils that plague my neighborhood are motorcycles, moving vans, and the worse of the worst, garbage trucks.  These must be defeated at all costs.

In dog logic, the only way to rid the world of loud evil is by being even louder.  Yes, that’s right, the punishment for being noisy is to be bombarded with more noise.  Ie. barking.  Barking as loud as possible with every inch of power in her 25 lb frame.

Now, this wouldn’t be all that amusing except for how she behaves after said incidents.

This afternoon we were on our regular walk and a large, green landscaping truck, towing a cherry picker, drove past us.  It was big, green, and very evil.  As soon as it was in barking range she let loose a flurry her loudest barks.  The drivers thought that was quite funny.

As soon as it was past us, my dog looked up at me, beaming, tail wagging a hundred miles an hour.  She was proud of herself, she chased the evil green dragon out of the neighborhood.

This is what I think is going on in her head.

She’s totally convinced in her righteous virtuousness.  She stands alone against the evil surrounding us every day and fights for all of our freedom.

What’s also funny, she seems to think this is her mission in life.  Every walk for her is like a neighborhood patrol, doing her business is just a side thought.  Whenever we go out she’s looking for evil to battle, eagerly.  Any hint of a loud vehicle, miles away, and she’s on edge, ready to go.  And when she doesn’t find anything to bark at she seems disappointed.

Once she chased out an entire horde of invading motorcyclists.  They were doing a weekend ride that passed through our neighborhood during our walk.  She went nuts.  They thought it was funny.  And afterwards she was practically bouncing around.  Her, a small dog, diverted the invading forces, an overwhelming horde, outnumbered and out gunned.  Yes, it went to her head.

Sure, she’s a little crazy but she’s still pretty awesome.  She’s my super dog, protecting the neighborhood.

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