Valentines Day – FML

Anyone who’s read this blog for at least a year knows how much I hate Valentines day.  For new readers: I really, really hate Valentines day.

Really, I have nothing good to say about the holiday.  If you’re single than for weeks you’re subjected to all the melodramatic commercials, TV shows, and the couples reveling in their non-singleness.  If you’re a guy in a relationship than you’re expected to “prove” your love with money, gifts, gestures, etc.  Female partners have it fairly easy, they put out and the guy is happy, but he has to solve the riddle of his better half and the stakes are his love life.  He has little to gain and everything to lose.

I’m a romantic but I hate big gestures.  My role model was my dad, who is the absolute king of small, everyday ways to demonstrate his feelings.  He takes care of everything around the house before mom asks, he remembers what she says and supports her in everything she does, he fills Mom’s car with gas, he does all sorts of little nice things to make her feel appreciated.  Of course, he had to be good at those things because he is the embodiment of the strong, silent, stoic type of guy.  He’s not going to write her poetry, sing her a song, or buy her diamonds.  A grand gesture?  His idea of one would be some flowers (maybe) or a humorous card, bringing home something to eat so she doesn’t have to cook, and letting her pick the movie for them to watch on the couch (while jokingly complaining the whole time about how “girly” it is).  My mother forgives his lack of grand romance because he’s constantly doing all the small gestures, she always feels appreciated.

When I’m in a relationship I’m just like my dad, always paying attention and doing the little things to show I care.  Then Valentines day comes along and undermines all my efforts.  It’s a holiday that basically says all the daily attention and affection I give doesn’t mean anything, to “prove” my affection I have to make some grand gesture, preferably by making an ass of myself or spending a lot of money.  Money is it’s own topic, putting a price tag on love makes me want to gag.  I’m like my dad, if you’re with me on Valentines day the most you should expect is some flowers (probably not) a humorous card (does an e-card count?), dinner (fast food), and a romantic movie (that I jokingly complain about).  Does Warm Bodies count?  Is a rom-zom-com romantic enough?

I really hate Valentines day.  If everything goes according to plan I’m going to stay home with a bottle of tequila and Netflix, probably spend all day switching between binge watching Spartacus and porn.  Take that, Hallmark!