I don’t completely remember the train of thought, maybe it was the post looking back at 2014, but I realized something interesting today, last year was the first since the divorce that I didn’t remember my wedding anniversary.  I’ve been divorced for over three years but that date was such a big deal for so long that it was second nature.

It’s ironic, I know, for a guy but I never forgot an anniversary or Cat’s birthday, even when things weren’t going well with her.  I’m terrible, terrible with dates I should remember, I know this, so when we got married I made a serious effort to drill the numbers into my brain.  I came up with little rhymes so they were easier to recall, I used every trick I could think of and it worked, I never missed one.  There was even a debate a few years in as to our exact anniversary, she was actually a day off and it became a running joke every year.  “Are you sure it isn’t tomorrow?”

Nine months after our divorce, six months after Cat got remarried, our old anniversary rolled around.  For the first time in ten years it didn’t really mean anything but I still remembered it.  She was at her new place with her new family and I was home alone.  I sent Cat a silly text about it then proceeded to drink myself silly.

The next year I was deployed and going through a fairly tumultuous situation, a week later I’d be out of the military, but I still remembered.  I didn’t send her a text, I was overseas, but I drank myself silly before getting up at 5 am the next morning for work.  That was pretty much the norm at the time but I tipped her a salute.

The following year, I was a civilian but remembered and celebrated by drinking myself silly.  I didn’t bother sending her a message, she didn’t send me one either.  In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, she never sent me any messages, silly or not, on our old anniversary.  She’d already moved on, I suppose.  She had new dates marked on her calendar.

Last year… I didn’t remember.  It didn’t occur to me at all.  The date rolled around the same as it does every year but it was just another day.  Actually, looking back through the posts, I had just returned from a trip to see Ann, Cat was the last thing on my mind.  It’s been almost six months and I just now realized that it just passed without notice.

I suppose it’s a good thing, that old part of my life is fading away, but it also makes me a little sad.  It’s not that I’m nostalgic for my marriage, the divorce was one of the best decisions we (she) made, but it signifies the fading of that whole decade of my life.  The good and the bad.  It’s the past getting further and further away in the rear view.

I should probably also find some new dates to focus on since there won’t be any more weddings in my future.  Different anniversaries, probably, but no more marriages for me.

no marriage

Valentines Day – FML

Anyone who’s read this blog for at least a year knows how much I hate Valentines day.  For new readers: I really, really hate Valentines day.

Really, I have nothing good to say about the holiday.  If you’re single than for weeks you’re subjected to all the melodramatic commercials, TV shows, and the couples reveling in their non-singleness.  If you’re a guy in a relationship than you’re expected to “prove” your love with money, gifts, gestures, etc.  Female partners have it fairly easy, they put out and the guy is happy, but he has to solve the riddle of his better half and the stakes are his love life.  He has little to gain and everything to lose.

I’m a romantic but I hate big gestures.  My role model was my dad, who is the absolute king of small, everyday ways to demonstrate his feelings.  He takes care of everything around the house before mom asks, he remembers what she says and supports her in everything she does, he fills Mom’s car with gas, he does all sorts of little nice things to make her feel appreciated.  Of course, he had to be good at those things because he is the embodiment of the strong, silent, stoic type of guy.  He’s not going to write her poetry, sing her a song, or buy her diamonds.  A grand gesture?  His idea of one would be some flowers (maybe) or a humorous card, bringing home something to eat so she doesn’t have to cook, and letting her pick the movie for them to watch on the couch (while jokingly complaining the whole time about how “girly” it is).  My mother forgives his lack of grand romance because he’s constantly doing all the small gestures, she always feels appreciated.

When I’m in a relationship I’m just like my dad, always paying attention and doing the little things to show I care.  Then Valentines day comes along and undermines all my efforts.  It’s a holiday that basically says all the daily attention and affection I give doesn’t mean anything, to “prove” my affection I have to make some grand gesture, preferably by making an ass of myself or spending a lot of money.  Money is it’s own topic, putting a price tag on love makes me want to gag.  I’m like my dad, if you’re with me on Valentines day the most you should expect is some flowers (probably not) a humorous card (does an e-card count?), dinner (fast food), and a romantic movie (that I jokingly complain about).  Does Warm Bodies count?  Is a rom-zom-com romantic enough?

I really hate Valentines day.  If everything goes according to plan I’m going to stay home with a bottle of tequila and Netflix, probably spend all day switching between binge watching Spartacus and porn.  Take that, Hallmark!

Sick Day Music

This week has been my annual sick week.  I have a pretty tough immune system but it seems like one week every winter I catch the flu.  It isn’t a big deal but I use it as an excuse to lounge around the apartment, whine, complain, and indulge in things I usually avoid.  Like milk shakes.

I could use a little cheering up, a boost, so I decided to pull up some good tunes.
We’re going with some classics today because I recently chatter with a blogger who didn’t know who Lynyrd Skynyrd was.  Seriously.  Sweet Home Alabama?  Tuesday’s Gone?  Really?
(This is a tribute version, after the crash, it had the best audio quality.  Don’t short yourself, watch the whole thing.  If you don’t know why people yell “Free Bird” at concerts, you’ll see around the halfway mark.)

Here’s another classic, if you don’t know it than you need to seriously reevaluate your priorities.  Another nice version thanks to YouTube.

I’m going to pause here for a little rant.  When “music” involves more computers than musicians you stop finding versions of badass songs that are eleven minutes long.  This is why I can’t listen to the radio anymore, one more computerized drum track and I swear I’m going to drive into a light pole.
Another classic.  Hard to beat CCR.

Okay, a few newer-ish ones.  90’s is considered new-ish, right?  Better than the crap they play these days.


Alice in Chains off my favorite album of theirs.  The video is crazy.


Ah, the albums of my High School years.  The Aussies better recognize this next band.  I actually brought this album to my guitar teacher so we could figure out how to play this song.


Ahhhh, nostalgia.  Oh, not for those years, for the music.  What happened to music?


There are a lot of things to dislike about Creed, the lead singer’s ego and the not-so-subtle christian references to name a few, but there is one redeeming factor:  Mark Tremonti, arguably one of the best guitarists of his time.  Also, Scott Stapp offered to box Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit), which is points in their favor as far as I’m concerned.


There’s plenty of untapped material from the 90’s, Slip Knot, Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, System of a Down, Korn, Rage against the Machine, Deftones, Mudvayne, Sepultura, Veruca Salt, Fly leaf, and many, many more but we’re going to save those for another post.

Newer stuff?  Okay, we’ll attempt to find some newer stuff too.  Well, newer-ish.  I think these are within the last decade at least.  Mostly.

Early Shinedown.

I have a hard time admitting this, but I actually like 30 Seconds to Mars.  I know, I know, but there’s something about them that just seems slightly more authentic than most modern “bands”.  This is ironic since I have a hard time believing Jared Leto is human.  He’s too pretty and talented, he’s got to be an android from the future.

And probably the only other band that’s actually played on the radio that doesn’t make me want to change the station.

That should be plenty of music for today, I’ve managed to waste most of a sick afternoon playing on YouTube.  Hope you enjoyed the selection, and if you didn’t too bad.

A New Year

I wanted to write about Australia while the memories were still fresh (there’s still more coming) but that means that I’ve put off other posts.  Like New Years.  Usually I avoid those kind of arbitrary milestone posts because on their own they don’t really mean much.  They’re like birthdays, it’s just a number, nothing has really changed from the day before.  This year though, I actually wanted to write.

The beginning of 2014 I was bored, lonely, and indifferent about my life.  Things weren’t all bad but life was dull and without any promising prospects I didn’t have a lot of optimism for the future.  I was just kind of trudging through, surviving day to day.

The end of 2014, December 31st, I was in Australia with Sharn and a few of her friends, drinking and watching the Sydney New Years Eve fireworks on the TV.  Like usual, I did a mental review of the year and was surprised at just how crazy 2014 was.  Most of my year-end reviews don’t have much to comment on but 2014 was different.  There were so many ups and downs and all-arounds.  Good, bad, and just about everything in between. Continue reading

Australia: The worst day

The Australia trip wasn’t all roses and sunshine, or ropes and sex.  What should have been the absolute best morning of the trip, after the threesome, was actually the worst.

We’d had two bottles of wine which might have been why I tossed and turned all night.  When I don’t sleep my brain doesn’t do well.  By the time Vivian’s alarm clock went off I was already feeling rough mentally.  I just wanted to be spend all day in bed, preferably asleep on a pair of beautiful boobs.  Too bad Vivian had to work.

Then I got on my phone and the morning went from bad to worse. Continue reading

Australia: The way more fun threesome pt 2

I was actually a little nervous going into the threesome with Vivian and B.  Months previously I’d been in a somewhat notorious attempt at a threesome that didn’t turn out very well (I’d link to it but it’s already one of my top viewed posts, sigh).  As if that weren’t enough, I’d never been with more than one woman at a time and we didn’t really discuss anything beforehand, we just jumped into bed.  What was I supposed to/allowed to do?

Whatever, I decided that I wasn’t going to worry about myself at all.  I was going to focus on giving the two ladies a good time and any attention thrown my way was just a bonus.  Besides, there’s little I like more than pleasing women and I had an opportunity to do a lot of pleasing.

No one really took charge as we went into Vivian’s bedroom so I took some initiative.  Me and B were basically already naked from being tied, Vivian still had on her dress.  I got Vivian down on the bed, slid up her dress and got between her legs. Continue reading

Australia: The way more fun threesome pt 1

It was Sunday morning.  Vivian got an early text from B, saying that she was going to swing by for a bit.  Yes, the same B that remarked that I’d looked like Vivian’s bitch the previous day.  The comment didn’t bother me because she hadn’t seen me and Vivian together outside the club.

We all had coffee and a laid back chat.  B and Vivian are frequent playmates and both kinky, so the conversation quickly got dirty.  Her and Vivian talked about how awesome it was to be fisted.  Then Vivian looked at me, turned to B, and remarked at how it would be really awesome to both get fisted at the same time.


Vivian worried for a moment that she’d made me uncomfortable but as far as I was concerned the only thing better than one beautiful, naked woman in Australia was two beautiful, naked women in Australia.  If they wanted to play than I was all for it. Continue reading