The Open Marriage – Cat 3

Continued from Cat pt 1 and Cat pt 2.  Actually, it’s kind of a side note to the second post, before the divorce.

cat s

The years that Cat and I were in an open relationship were two of the best years of our marriage.  The communication and the honesty were so much better.  We were so much happier together, so much more comfortable… and you know what?  The sex was way better too.

Yes, in the open relationship the sex was the best sex of our marriage.  We had more sex when we were newlyweds but we were young then, when we went into the open marriage we had eight years of practice together.  Almost the same quantity but the quality was way, way better.

Cat’s an exceptionally flirty, sexual person that thrived on attention.  But that outward sexuality was misleading, it was the attention she wanted not the sex.

You see, when we’d gotten married Cat had never had an orgasm.  She’d been sexually active for a while but had some awkward experiences and couldn’t get comfortable enough to actually cum.  She would think too much, be too self-conscious to relax and enjoy it.

We worked on her issues with sex together.  It took almost two years before Cat could reliably orgasm during sex or oral.  But even then she had to be really relaxed and she needed to be stimulated in exactly the right ways.  Seriously, like down to the exact angles and speeds.  If the sex didn’t hit the all the perfect marks at exactly the right time she couldn’t orgasm.

Yeah, she needed to be really comfortable with her partner and had to have all the right buttons pushed… picking up some random dude at the bar wasn’t going to do much for her except maybe boost her ego and her odds of getting an STD.

During our open relationship Cat would often go out.  At the bar she would be a total tease, leading on half a dozen guys at a time, letting them get a glimpse of cleavage or legs while playing pool.  They’d buy her drinks left and right, drooling over how lucky they were going to get.  Each one of the dozen thought they were going to get laid that night.. until she grabbed the taxi home, alone.

She could have gone home with one of those other dudes but why would she want to?  She had fun, drank, danced and got all the attention she wanted.  And she knew she could come home to a safe, reliable place and a guy that knew exactly what she needed in the bedroom to get off.

It was a pretty sweet deal for me.  I’d be sitting on the couch with a beer and practically get jumped as soon as she walked in.  Or if it was too late, I’d get woken up by her hands on my cock.  She’d already be aroused from being hit on all night and playing the tease, I could just sit back and enjoy the fruits of all those guy’s labor.  And their money.  None of the work but all of the reward.

There were times that she dated guys and slept with them, but judging from how often she still jumped into the sack with me they couldn’t hit the right spots.  Granted, I’d had eight years of practice, so how could they compete?

Yes, the open relationship was pretty awesome.  There were a few months when I was sleeping with three different women, Cat and two others.  I didn’t do one night stands so I was I basically had three FWBs.  Lots of sex at home, lots of sex outside of the home, pretty sweet all around.  That was actually when I started blogging, back in 2009.

Wow, 2009.  It’s crazy to think I’ve been blogging for five years.  Holy shit.  Granted, there were a couple years where I only put up a few posts, but I’ve written over 150,000 words on Id’s Redbook.  I’ve done a lot of growing in that time period.  It’s actually kind of amusing for me to go back and read those early years and see how things have changed since then.  Crazy.  I was a much dirtier guy back then, way more self absorbed (it’s hard to believe that’s possible, I know).

If you’re curious about those early, less enlightened years you can pop over to


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