Visiting Ann: Sex toys

**I recently returned from spending ten fantastic days with Ann St Vincent.  These posts about the visit aren’t going to be in any specific order, there is too much to write on too many topics.  So, don’t look at these like one long story, they are more like post cards or snap shots from a fantastic trip.**

Have I mentioned recently how awesome Ann is?  Because she’s pretty damn awesome.  A while ago I did a post on male sex toys (sex toys on ebay) and how they all seemed creepy, weird, or uninteresting.  I mentioned how I looked through some sites and didn’t find anything remotely interesting.

tenga egg

Ann took that as a challenge and spent some time shopping.  Before my visit she had told me that she bought some fun things to try.

A couple of days after I arrived Ann introduced me to her purchases.  Fun toys for guys that she wanted to try with me.  How freaking awesome is that?  How many girlfriends go to the sex shop and look for sex toys for their boyfriends?  I mean, women go out of their way for us guys all the time, shaving legs, buying lingerie, looking gorgeous for us, etc.  but this was taking it to the next level.

When I say she introduced me to the toys, I’ll need to be a little more specific.

She had me lie naked on the bed, she put my hands above my head, and blind folded me.  The blind fold was probably a good idea.  She lubed me up and started sliding something on me that felt pretty good.  It didn’t feel quite as wonderful as she did, but it was definitely something new and interesting and arousing.  After a few minutes, she climbed on top of me, slid the toy with me inside into her.  She rode us both to nice orgasms.  It wasn’t until afterwards, when she removed the blindfold, that I actually got a look at this toy.  Which, like I said, was probably a good thing.

The toy looked like a large, hollow, gelatin penis.  It’s definitely not something that I would have picked up off the shelf. But after playing with it I’m glad that Ann has a more open mind than I do when it comes to toys.

The inside had all sorts of fun textures that felt pretty damn good when used solo.  Used with Ann it added some length and girth to me that she enjoyed.  I’m not small (not huge either) but bigger is better for Ann, which shows if you ever get a chance to see her sex toy drawers.  Some of the toys are very intimidating, and yes, it’s drawers plural.  She has two large drawers next to the bed full of toys.  We only played with a few together, we were a little distracted, a situation I want to remedy on later visits.

So, toy A was a lot of fun for the both of us.  It didn’t feel as good as Ann when used it together during sex, kind of like wearing a thick condom but with good textures inside.  It certainly didn’t feel bad and the sensations were different which was fun in it’s own way, but it wasn’t as good as pussy (not much comes close).   Ann seemed to enjoy the added length and girth though, so it’s a bit of a trade-off and could be a fun tool in the bedroom.  It can also be used by me solo while I’m back home adding some interesting sensations to the masturbation experience.  Not as much fun as being with Ann, and probably won’t be used when masturbating every time, but it’s certainly an interesting, stimulating change of pace.

Sex toy B was slightly different.  She bought a Tenga Egg, which is so strange looking that I’m still not convinced it isn’t some kind of alien larva.  But it felt pretty damn good.  I’ll give this piece of advice, if you’re going to use the egg close your eyes, because the visual is like something out of a cheesy sci-fi movie… on your cock.  Very distracting and not n a good way, at least for me.  But it did feel pretty damn good, even better than the previous toy.


(Actual instructions, and yeah it actually looks just as weird in person as it does in the last panel.  The image at the top of the post is for the Tenga too.)

What I didn’t understand about this toy when I was looking at toys previously is that it’s basically designed to stimulate the really sensitive area just behind the head of the cock.  It’s shaped internally to feel good everywhere, but feels like it specifically targets that spot, which feels pretty damn good.  A gay friend, who was only slightly trying to seduce me at the time, called that area the “umbra” but I’m not sure if that’s slang or what.  As far as my internet skills go it’s called the “sulcus”.

The Tenga Eggs are designed for single use, maybe a couple of uses if you’re really gentle and care for it properly before and after.  So, other than the strange looks of the egg, durability is an issue, which we found out in an awkward, “fuck-fuck-fuck” moment.  She was playing with it on me, I was on the verge of orgasm but needed a little more pressure around the base of my cock.  I grabbed her hand, shoved it down harder, on the verge of cumming, and my cock burst through the end of the egg like the alien coming out of the dude’s chest in the Alien movie.

Yeah, that will ruin an orgasm in mid-stroke.  Thankfully, the damage was fairly minor, it didn’t completely ruin the toy.  It still felt pretty damn good, we just had to be a bit more gentle with it’s application.  We were still able to finish up quite nicely after the interruption.

The eggs can also be turned inside out, putting the fun textures on the outside, and placed on the head of a Hitachi vibrator.  We tried the egg this way (even with the hole) and it worked very well.  Ann was quite pleased with the results, it added some pliability and texture to the hitachi’s head.  And Ann loves her hitachi wand.  That story will be in the upcoming Visiting Ann: Bacon and Fudge post.  Yeah, stick around for that one.

Toy B, Tenga Egg.  This was definitely a cool toy.  I’d seen them online before and thought it was pretty stupid looking, and it is pretty stupid looking, but it feels really good.  Pros, it feels awesome.  Cons, it’s an expensive toy with limited durability, designed for a single use.  Ok, so $9 isn’t much for a sex toy but it’s one time use, disposable.  Do you want to spend $9 to masturbate once?  So, in conclusion, it’s definitely a fun toy to check out and try… but you should know the cons beforehand and not expect too much from it.

Toys, toys, toys.  I have to admit they were a lot more fun to play with than I thought they would be.  They might look weird, off-putting even, but they felt good and I definitely enjoyed them.  This experience has definitely opened my eyes a bit toward male sex toys.

And you know what?  With my new found open mind toward male toys, and being in a long distance relationship, I have a feeling these won’t be the last toys I play with.


20 thoughts on “Visiting Ann: Sex toys

  1. Curiosity got the better of me with the Tenga egg and I needed to see for myself what you were referring to…so I looked it up. There were many videos to choose from. I am gonna slap curiosity in the face next time.

      • I DID! I couldn’t help myself. I even watched two different ones. It must feel so freaking amazing that the look of it doesn’t matter. There was nothing sexy about it at all.

      • Exactly! When I was doing my original male-toy research the Egg kept coming up in my searches but it looked so weird and stupid I completely disregarded it. It actually felt really good, on the head of my cock anyway (which is the most sensitive part) but I couldn’t actually watch the thing while using it because it was so disturbing looking, it ruined the moment. Definitely not sexy. But it did feel really good, way better than the other toy.

  2. LOL @ ‘alien’ experience!

    I don’t know any guy who’s used a fleshlight (or maybe they just don’t admit to it?) but I’m reeeeeally interested to know what guys think of them. So I feel like if you’re trying out a bunch of toys you should start doing reviews for us johnny! Then we know which ones to buy our men for Xmas 😛

    Ps. Have you seen this?? Not exactly a toy but damn, it peaks the interest.

    Pps. Again, I feel like bowing down in respect to Ann – two drawers?! :O I suddenly have the urge to go shopping! Hahaha

    • Honestly, like I said in my first disappointing search for male sex toys, they all looked stupid at best and severely uncomfortable/dangerous at worst. I had zero interest in every trying out the fleshlight until I had so much fun playing with these toys. Now, I kind of want to try one. If I do, I’ll definitely write about it.

      And how about the blowjob machine? I can’t tell if that’s the scariest looking machine ever made or the coolest machine ever.

      A grapefruit blowjob? I’m down. I’ll put it on the list for the next time I’m with Ann. Hopefully she likes grapefruit, though I suppose a large orange would work as well.

      And yes, Ann has two large drawers full of toys. I think she actually has photos of them on her blog somewhere.

      • Wow that looks scary buuuut I feel like you should get it anyway for the sake of a hilarious review 😀

        The grapefruit idea is so bizarre that I want to do it for shits and giggles, but alas, I keep forgetting. In my mind I imagine the sourness would burn a guy’s manhood but it seems like that’s not the case? Ann I’m so sorry for putting your foot in it if you’re not a big citrus fan haha!

    • I have no shame. 😉 I have a Fleshlight, and you know what? It’s pretty freakin’ awesome. I don’t use it often, because it’s a bit of work to use properly (warm it up with hot water, shake it out a bit, lube it, use it, clean it, dry it, store it, etc) but it is amazingly close to the real thing – no, that’s not right. It’s very different from the real thing, but it feels good in a way that’s similar to the real thing and way better than doing the job by hand. 😉 Plus, it’s just nicer to look at than most of the weird sex toys out there.

      My only complaint? The most “realistic” texture (there are many different kinds of textures, from bare sleeve to OMG I would never put my dick in a vagina with teeth) is only available on the “specialty” models – the ones that are molded after the lady bits of various professional porn stars. My problem with this is two-fold – one, I am not a fan of professional porn. It actually kind of turns me off. Second, and related, I have no interest in sexing up soft rubber just because it looks like their girl parts…so I hate having to spend extra to do so.

      That said, I do enjoy my fleshlight, both alone and when the Mrs occasionally decides to use it with me. She’s weirded out by “fake” genitalia, though – she won’t even use a realistic dildo! But again, the “good” texture isn’t available in their “stealth” model. Alas!

      • Yeah I’m starting to hear that more and more with guys – porn that appears more realistic is better than the over dramatised style. I think the realistic style is luring more women into watching porn now too, we don’t just laugh at the ridiculousness of it anymore 😛

        I agree with your Mrs – I preferably go for toys that are colourful and don’t look like the real thing. In my mind fucking myself with a realistic dildo is like fucking myself with someone’s chopped off dick, its a little unnerving. Its a psychological thing! Haha if a guy is in control of it, its fine.

        Ah, sex toy woes 😛

        Ps. Still laughing at the ‘vagina with teeth’ hahaha wow!

      • I mentioned it in a previous response but I was totally uninterested in the fleshlight until after this experience. Everything looked so weird and strange that I couldn’t imagine sticking my dick in it… now, I kind of want to try them all. If I do, I’ll totally write a review.

        Props on admitting to owning one, it’s something that isn’t quite as acceptable as it should be. For some reason it’s entirely ok for women to have toys but less so for us guys. I’ll be looking to pick one up soon and will have some fun writing about it here. 😉

      • Like I said, I have no shame. 😉 I have no problems admitting to anything when it comes to sex – the way I look at it, one of the greatest problems we have in our modern world is our insane attempt to repress our sexuality. It causes so many problems, and frankly, I’m not going to be part of that.

  3. We got a tenga egg once and it broke! Waste of $20 for something that’s just plain weird! I did LOL a lot when using it on the boy though haha

    • Yeah, their durability is certainly an issue. “Use gently” and “sex toy” shouldn’t be used in the same sentence, obviously it isn’t going to be used gently. I have to admit, this whole experience makes me want to check out their other products. There are several options that are meant to have a longer life span.

  4. The first thing I’m gonna do when I get to Wichita tomorrow is shop for a toy! If I’m driving 3 hours to go to a concert by myself at least I’ll have some solo fun in the room!

  5. Pingback: What my boyfriend has to say about all this | ann st vincent

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