I don’t normally pay much attention to the search terms that led someone to my blog. Honestly, they usually aren’t worth checking, I rarely get any really fun ones. However, this blog has been up long enough that when I checked the “summary” of all my search terms a few came up that were interesting. There were enough that I’m breaking this into two posts. Some are funny, some are creepy, and some are just confusing.
Here are some of my favorites in a segment I’m calling “Search Terms: what kind of creep are you?”
Justin Timberlake and Brittany Spears
Those are two names I never thought would be associated with Id’s Redbook, however I did the post I Really, Really Want to Hate Justin Timberlake. So, I guess I kind of asked for this one. I wrote a post that discussed how much I hate most pop celebrities, mentioned them by name… and in doing so connected my blog with the celebrities that I hate… and I’m just reinforcing it now by mentioning them again. Shit.
She “worked up” slide
This search term just confuses me. What the hell was this person looking for? And how did that term connect to my blog? It kind of sounds suggestive but that might just be my dirty mind. I looked through the first six pages of results and didn’t see anything of mine, so how far down the list did this person have to go to stumble here?
Giving a cat a bath
This might seem like one that’s out of the blue, but I wrote Naked Thursday #6 about giving a cat a bath. It makes me smile to think someone might have been looking for legitimate sites about bathing their cat and ended up here.
Julie Fucks Jeff
This one made me smile a bit, thinking of Julie Fucks Me. On the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever written the name Jeff here, so I’m not sure where that comes from. Doesn’t matter, Julie (Ann) has definitely fucked me.
Idaho Rape Kit
This makes me laugh, because who the hell is looking for a state-specific rape kit? No regular rape kit will do, it has to be an “Idaho” rape kit. And why Idaho? Are the women there less willing than other states? So much so that they’ve developed a specific rape kit to use? Or maybe it’s more of a bestiality thing, some harnesses or straps to keep those wily farm animals from escaping? This search term was due to my Rape Kit post. No, I don’t endorse rape.
Is there an emoticon for horny?
Yeah, I did a post on how I wished there was a horny emoticon. I actually tried to make one for discussions with Ann but it turned into something…. interesting. Emoticon cyber sex.
The glories of nudity
My Naked Thursday posts have brought in a surprising number of nudist readers and bloggers. I hadn’t realized there were so many pro-nudity blogs out there. I also hadn’t realized how many nudists would get a kick out of Naked Thursday, which was essentially a big joke loosely based on an actual naked day I wanted to start doing. It didn’t really catch on the way I hoped, but it still amuses me to do the Naked Thursday posts.
And my personal favorite:
Christian Mingle NSA
This search term made me literally laugh out loud. Are you fucking serious? Someone actually found my blog when they searched for No-Strings-Attached sex and Christian Mingle. Aren’t Christians supposed to be all “no sex before marriage” and shit? They act all holier than thou, but their google searches say otherwise. And NSA, that’s so hilarious. “I only want a good, quality, Christian woman, found on an online Christian dating site, for meaningless, no-strings, premarital sex.”
People make me laugh. If I worked at Google I’d have so much fun looking all these crazy things people are searching for.