The Art of Seduction pt 4

Alright, so you’ve sent the girl of your dreams a photo of your cock (The Art of Seduction pt 1).  You’ve sent her an amazing first email (The Art of Seduction pt 2).   You’ve gotten dressed and ready for your first date (The Art of Seduction pt 3).

Now it’s time to pick a location.  There are a couple good reasons that you should choose the location instead of letting your date.

First, it’s always better to choose a place closer to where she lives.  That way if things go really well the two of you end up at her place because it’s closer.  Her place is better because you really don’t want her to see the pile of “happy socks” by your bed, the toilet that hasn’t been scrubbed in years, the pile of pizza boxes by the door, the overflowing recycle bin full of beer bottles, and the dishes that are growing rare strains of bacteria in your sink.  Those kinds of things will definitely kill the mood.

Secondly, chicks like it when you show initiative.  By picking the location she thinks you’re a little more assertive, more driven, and opinionated than you actually are.  If you tell your date that you don’t care where you go she will probably think that you’re a lazy, slacking, un-opinionated loser… unless you’re suave like me and say something like “No, babe.  I don’t care where we go as long as I get to spend that time with you.”  Shit like that makes chicks wet.

Ok, so it’s a good idea for you to pick the location, but how do you chose?

You need to pick some place romantic.  By romantic I mean dimly lit.  Nothing is sexy under fluorescent lights, and trust me, you need all the help you can get.  Dark = romantic, got it?  The darker it is, the better it is, because if she can’t see you than she won’t realize immediately how unattractive you are.  That might also work out better for you too, depending on how recent her online dating profile photos are.  Maybe a picnic in the middle of the unlit park at 11pm is a good idea.

Rapist s

(Ok, maybe the park isn’t a good idea.  Dark is good, but that might give a little too much of a “I’m a rapist” vibe)

Next, the place needs to serve alcohol.  The darker the place is, the more liquored up you get your date, the better.  Make sure there are lots of fruity drinks on the menu and a decent wine selection, the corner bar that just has liquor and beer probably won’t have much she’s interested in.  Unless she likes tequila.  And if she likes tequila than you’re probably in for a good time no matter what.  But generally, mixed drinks and wine are a guy’s best friend on a date.  The lower her inhibitions the better the time you’re going to have.  Also, the drunker she gets the less likely she is to remember any of the dumb comments you’re undoubtedly going to make.

If you’ve asked your date out to dinner, make sure that the place you’re choosing serves food or at least some decent appetizers.  Specifically, make sure the place serves food that won’t fuck with your stomach.  If you’ve never had Indian food, choosing an Indian restaurant to impress your date probably isn’t the best idea.  You want food that isn’t too spicy (or pricey), has too many beans, nothing too greasy, etc.  Italian is generally a safe bet.  Also, if the place you choose serves fast food you probably won’t get a second date.

You think you have a place picked out?

Closer to her house than yours?  Check

Dimly lit?  Check

Serves alcohol?  Check

Serves decent food?  Check

…  Wait a minute.  Did you pick a strip club?  Dumbass.

Alright, apparently I needed to spell that out.  Do not choose a strip club for your first date with a woman you haven’t met yet.  Unless, of course, you’ve exchanged some messages and she wants to go to a strip club with you on your first date.  If so, buy her a ring because you’re not going to find another one like her.

You’ve sent her a cock shot, amazed her with your messages, gotten dressed for the date, chosen the location… what’s the next step?  Oh, yeah.  Stay tuned for The Art of Seduction pt 5: First Impressions, Don’t Fuck Up.


8 thoughts on “The Art of Seduction pt 4

  1. 🙂 Ok Johnny, what does a guy like you do with a girl like me? I don’t drink alcohol……
    O gross if you ever sent me a photo of your equipment we would never get to first date…..
    A strip club,….. what an interesting place to have a first date 😉 .

    Thank goodness, I don’t need to worry about going on dates anymore.

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