Ok, I’ll admit the title is a slight exaggeration but it’s a lot more catchy than the alternatives I came up with. You’ll see what I mean.
Most dogs are like chick magnets, you take them for a walk and suddenly you’re the most popular guy on the block. My dog is a mid-sized terrier, super cute and friendly… but she’s straight up chick repellent.
Three or four times a day I take the dog on long walks around the neighborhood. Everybody does it so it shouldn’t be an issue, right? And yet, somehow it always is.
You see, my dog has this fantastic sixth sense for the most socially awkward time to do her business. We’re walking through an empty, deserted area… she doesn’t have to go. As soon as we’re standing in front of a nice couple having a beer on their patio? She’s suddenly struck by the insatiable urge to do her business. I’m standing there, holding the leash, and trying to pretend I’m not being glared at. Then I do the proper thing, pick up after her, and we make our way home. I can feel the couple’s eyes burning holes in the back of my head the rest of the way down the block.
(My exhibitionist dog) Continue reading