Why I’m not a slut… anymore

It often surprises people when I tell them that I don’t try and get laid when I’m between relationships.  Popular opinion would say that all men are constantly trying to get into a woman’s pants, any woman’s pants.  I can’t vouch for all men, but that certainly isn’t the case for me.  Anymore, at least.

Why not?  Because of nights like this one:

Last year I was going through a dry spell, but worse than that I was really bored.

One night I get a message on one of the dating sites from an attractive older lady.  A lot older.  She was actually only a few years younger than my Mom.  I don’t mind an age gap but this was practically a generational gap.  Normally that would be an instant disqualification for me… but I was bored and she had a nice profile.  She seemed like a genuine person and was interested in me, big points in her favor.  We’ll call her Christine.

Christine was looking for a serious to long term relationship, or at least that’s what she had listed on her profile.  I was still recently divorced and not looking for anything long term at all.

But…  I was bored so I wrote her back.  She wanted to meet up for drinks that Friday night.

I knew I wasn’t really interested in her, that we had different goals, but I didn’t have anything else going on that Friday.  What the hell, it’ll be more entertaining than sitting at home with TV and a few beers, right?  So I agreed to meet her.

In person she looked a lot older and more frumpy than she did in the photos, which is something that I’d come to expect with online dating.  She wasn’t unattractive but she wasn’t attractive either, she was just kind of a matronly older woman.  I could have left right there… but it wasn’t like I had anything else to do.

Christine liked to talk and was actually somewhat interesting to listen to, so I basically sat there and nodded for a couple hours.  We had a couple drinks and just hung out for a while.

About midnight she decided it was getting late and she should probably head home soon.  I walked her to her car and gave her a fantastic good night kiss.

I’ve learned through the course of my dating life that there are two keys to getting laid: don’t talk too much and give a fantastic good night kiss.

A fantastic good night kiss starts out soft but quickly gets a little tongue involved.  Put a little forward pressure into the kiss.  The important thing is to find the fine line between assertive and aggressive, it should demonstrate your interest in sex without being too pushy.  And don’t stop unless she tells you to.  Put your hands on her hips and gently pull hers toward yours.

Now, I honestly didn’t care one way or the other how the night was going to end.  I really didn’t.  She was attractive enough that I would have sex with her… but not so interesting or attractive that I would be disappointed if we didn’t have sex.  Either way, I didn’t care.

After about five minutes of making out against the side of her car Christine invites me back to her place.

We get inside her town house, her son (who’s my age) is passed out on the couch, and go up to her room.  We strip down, she’s not any more impressive out of her clothing than in them though she seems excited by me.  Which was good, I guess.

She motions me to lay down on the bed and starts giving me a blow job.  She’s enthusiastic and somewhat talented but nothing amazing.  I was still pretty ambivalent about the whole situation.

After five minutes or so of sucking and licking she asks if she can ride me.

As a guy, how am I supposed to answer that?  Uh… yes?  I guess so…  Why not?

So, she climbs on top of me and starts riding my cock.  She’s got good rhythm, some decent moves but nothing mind blowing.  I just laid there and let her go to town.  She was really happy with the position and I didn’t care either way, so we stuck with her on top.  I mean, she was having a fucking blast and it took almost no effort on my part.  She came at least five or six times.

man slut s

After about an hour I figured it was my turn.  I shifted around to get the right angle for myself, and so the headboard would stop bouncing off the wall, then pushed her to move a little faster for a few minutes until I came.

She was totally bubbly and excited afterwards, laying down next to me and cuddling.  She made a strange comment about how she loves the feeling of her pussy after a guy has been in her, the slickness between her legs.  Yeah.  I made some small effort at small talk for a while but didn’t try very hard.  We BSed for another ten minutes until I figured it wouldn’t be impolite to leave.

We got up, got dressed and said polite goodbyes.

As I was driving home I thought about the evening.  I felt a little bit guilty, she was a nice, honest woman looking for something serious… and I seduced her for no particular reason.  I didn’t lie to her or make any promises, and she had a fantastic evening (seriously, she came at least 5 or 6 times)… but I had no intention on getting into anything serious and wasn’t sure I even liked her.

It was slightly more entertaining than staying home… and I kind of got laid… but I didn’t care.  Had the evening ended early and I’d gone home, I would have been fine with that too. It would have been just as rewarding to stay at home and masturbate.

Go out with her, stay home alone… fuck her, don’t fuck her… either way made no difference to me.  And if I cared that little, what was the point?

That’s when I decided that if I didn’t care it wasn’t worth it.  Rather than going out on questionable dates and trying to get laid, I would stay home and invest my time and effort to finding a woman I did care about.

That’s when I truly became happy, healthy and unattached.

And being happy, healthy and unattached meant that when Ann came along I was in the right place mentally to appreciate her.

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