As we get older, the phrase “I Love You” becomes kind of tag-line to conversations with our significant other. It’s like a polite way for people in long term relationships to end a discussion.
“You’ve had a long day. I hope you sleep well. I love you.”
“Yes. Love you too. Good night.”
The phrase “I love you” can easily become something like ‘good night’ or ‘have a good day’, or ‘I like you’. It’s far too easy for the depth and meaning of the phrase to become something mundane and pointless.
If you want the phrase to have any sort of meaning at all than it has to be held back, reserved for situations that really deserve it. Personally, that’s why I avoid saying “I love you”, because I want it to have some gravitas when I do say it.
A couple weeks ago I told Ann that I loved her. We were having an extensive, difficult discussion about our long distance relationship. At the end of the conversation she mentioned that she was exhausted (stupid time zone differences) and she just wanted my arms wrapped around her while she fell asleep.
With the distance involved, obviously I couldn’t hold her while she fell asleep, but I could try and reinforce my commitment to her. I couldn’t hold her but I could tell her that I loved her before she went to bed.
And I do, I love her. It wasn’t difficult to tell her that because I meant it.
Love only carries the weight and importance that we give it and I take love very seriously. I don’t tell someone I love them if I’m not sure, otherwise it would be a meaningless term.
I want love to be significant. I want it to have meaning. I don’t take it lightly and I don’t say it just to provoke a certain reaction. I didn’t say it (or write it) to make Ann feel better, I said it because I meant it and she deserved to know how I felt.
I have no reservations, no worries, no concerns… because love is not a conditional thing. No matter what happens, I love Ann and want her to be happy. If I can be the man to make her happy, that’s a huge bonus for me, but whatever happens I want nothing more than her happiness.
So, yes, Ann I love you. And I want you to know exactly how much I mean it when I say that. Or write it.