Sex Advice

Has anyone else noticed that most sex advice columns are total bullshit?  Sure, they might sound like they have a clue what they’re talking about, but once you dig a little bit you realize they’re full of shit and just regurgitating the same advice they read on another bullshit site.

For example, (I’ve chopped it down for readability without changing the content too much, you can verify by reading the original here.  I’m not calling out that site specifically, but this type of advice. **Edit, the site has since been removed but I’m too lazy to find another bullshit sex advice column and they’re pretty much all the same anyway**.) here is some advice provided on an actual relationship and sex advice blog here on WordPress:

Ways to spice up your now boring sex life:

1. Dress up. It is so fun to dress up and get into character. Be creative and daring. You have the maid, cops and robber, dirty teacher, sexy stripper, handyman, etc. 

2. Candles and bubbles. You and your partner can take a nice cozy bubble bath with candles throughout the bathroom. 

3. Games.  Playing games in the bedroom is another way to bring some excitement and fun into the relationship.  There are sexy adult games in adult novelty stores or you can make up your own.

Ok, those don’t sound so terrible, do they?  Those tips might help a bored couple spice up their sex life, right?  Then why am I saying that advice is retarded?  Because it is.

Imagine you’ve been married for ten years, the sex has become boring and infrequent, and you want some way to spice it back up.  If you dressed up once a week, how many weeks until it gets boring again?  If you have a candle lit bath once a week, how long until it gets boring again?  The same thing with games, how long until it gets boring again?

The problem with these “tips” is that they treat the symptom and not the cause.  Sure, you can spice your sex life back up for short periods of time but if you don’t cure the underlying issues then the problems will always come back.

Sex Advice s

So, the first thing that a couple needs to do is sit down, have an honest conversation and figure out why there are issues in the bedroom.  Too tired from working too much?  Not attracted to her/him anymore (they’ve let themselves go)?  Not spending enough time together?  Spending too much time together?  Kids always getting in the way?  One of you is more interested than the other?  Too little intimacy?  Too much intimacy?  Too much TV?  Too much time playing video games?  Too much porn?  Not enough porn?

What are the actual problems?  That’s what couples need to figure out, not sugar-coat the issues with colorful distractions.

So, I have the best two pieces of advice you’re going to get.  They aren’t sexy and they don’t sell magazines (which is the main reasons “sex advice/tips” exist):

1. Communicate.  Have an honest conversation about the problems in your sex life, your goals, and ways to make it better.  Work together toward those goals.

2. Exercise more.  Did you know that exercise is one of the best things for boosting your sex life?  Not only does it make you look better, more attractive to your partner, but it also boosts your confidence and sex drive.  You know all those pills that boost male performance?  Yeah, if you look up alternative treatments, “exercise” is usually the first on the list.  Cardio increases blood flow and efficiency for both partners as well as releasing endorphins that boost confidence and the libido.

Those are the best two sex advice tips, provided here for free.  You can ignore all those other sex advice columns.  You’re fucking welcome.

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