An Apology to my Dick

We’ve all been there, where you got caught up in the moment and later you’re wondering what the fuck you just did.  I’ve had a couple of those and it really makes me feel sorry for myself… or at least part of myself.

After my first year of college I wasn’t in a very healthy place.  My long distance relationship had just fallen apart and I’d dropped out of school.  I was pretty down and just needed something to perk me up a bit… preferably something warm, wet and tight.

The lead singer of my band and I invited a couple of groupies over to our place.  They weren’t specifically our groupies, just a couple of girls that went to all the local shows and were generally passed around by the various bands.  “Band Aids”, I think they were called in Almost Famous.

One of them, we’ll call her Brandy, had made it obvious a couple of times that she was into me but I’d been in the long distance relationship.  That, and she was kind of gross.  She was one of those young women that was constantly drinking, doing drugs and having sex with band members.  Her bed was like a revolving door with tattooed, drugged-out musicians constantly cumming and going.  Why would I want my dick anywhere near her?

Well, I was upset over my recent break up, I was drinking a lot, and Brandy was easily available.  All of the reasons not to have sex with her were fading away with each drink. As it got later, I got more drunk and horny.  Finally, I went over to her.

“Nice shoes… wanna fuck?” I asked.  I said it in a joking manner and she looked at me all confused.

“Are you serious?  You want to fuck?” she asked back.

“Nice shoes…” I repeated.  She grinned, took my hand and we walked back to my bedroom.  Probably the only time in the history of man that that pick up line worked.  Of course, just saying “Wanna fuck?” probably would have worked just as well with her.  Or maybe even just “What’s up?”

We got naked before we even kissed.  I love eating pussy, so I went down on her for a while.  After that we went on an unsuccessful search for a condom.  We didn’t look very hard.  Her purse?  Nope.  My wallet?  Nope.  Oh well…

We had short, unremarkable sex and I came inside her.

Well, that was about all I wanted.  She tried to get me hard again, but watching this woman I found fairly unattractive try to arouse me pretty much ruined any chance of it actually happening.

Sorry, guess we’re done for the night.  I rolled over and fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up next to her.  Sober.  It was practically a coyote ugly moment, I just about chewed off my arm to keep from waking her as I tried to sneak out of bed.  The attempt was unsuccessful, but I shouldn’t have worried.  She woke up, murmured something about it being too early, and rolled back over.

Ugh… what had I done?  I felt so slimy and gross, like I could feel her cooties crawling around my skin, so I went straight to the bathroom and jumped into the shower.  I got the roughest cloth I could find and seriously scrubbed every inch of myself.  I scrubbed my dick the hardest.

In the shower, I reviewed the night’s activities with disgust.  I’d spent the night with this unattractive band groupie, who probably had dozens of previous partners.  How many other dudes had cum in that pussy… and I ate her out.  Ugh!  Then, I had unprotected sex with her.  Unprotected!  It was like sticking my dick in a cesspool that didn’t even have the decency to look good.  No redeeming factors here whatsoever.

apologies penis s

In the shower I looked down at my rubbed-raw cock.

“Dude, I am so sorry.  I got caught up in the moment, I wasn’t thinking clearly and you paid the price.  I’m not going to pretend to know what you went through but it can’t have been pleasant.  Can a penis get PTSD?  I really, really hope not.

“But, you took it like a man… that’s something to be proud of, I guess.  I will try and make it up to you.  I’m not sure how, but I’ll do what I can.  I am so, so sorry.

“Oh, and I promise to never put you through those horrors again.”

I totally put my dick through those horrors again.  I’m just lucky that none of those nights ended with me catching something.

Life is like that, things happen.  You get swept up, make bad decisions, and the little wing man (or woman) suffers for it.

It’s not a fair world, what can I say?

4 thoughts on “An Apology to my Dick

  1. I realize this post is over two months old but I really have to tell you that I laughed so hard reading it. Wow. Too much truth too close to home for a Thursday night.

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