Cock blocked by my dog

Ok, I’ll admit the title is a slight exaggeration but it’s a lot more catchy than the alternatives I came up with.  You’ll see what I mean.

Most dogs are like chick magnets, you take them for a walk and suddenly you’re the most popular guy on the block.  My dog is a mid-sized terrier, super cute and friendly… but she’s straight up chick repellent.

Three or four times a day I take the dog on long walks around the neighborhood.  Everybody does it so it shouldn’t be an issue, right?  And yet, somehow it always is.

You see, my dog has this fantastic sixth sense for the most socially awkward time to do her business.  We’re walking through an empty, deserted area… she doesn’t have to go.  As soon as we’re standing in front of a nice couple having a beer on their patio?  She’s suddenly struck by the insatiable urge to do her business.  I’m standing there, holding the leash, and trying to pretend I’m not being glared at.  Then I do the proper thing, pick up after her, and we make our way home.  I can feel the couple’s eyes burning holes in the back of my head the rest of the way down the block.

my dog s

(My exhibitionist dog) Continue reading

Conscious Celibacy

A couple recent posts got me thinking about mental health and sex.  The Woman Invisible was part of the inspiration.

Sex can be a wonderful, enriching experience, but only if you’re in the right place for it mentally.  I think any issues or problems can only be magnified once sex gets added.

Sometimes sex is like a band aid, a quick fix to feel better, but it doesn’t address the underlying problems.  Other times, sex directly adds drama and stress to the situation, further complicating things.

Why do I think all this?  Because I wasn’t in a good place, had problems, and ended up making the conscious decision not to date until I was better.  It made a huge difference in my life.

During the two years of open marriage and the divorce I did a lot of sleeping around.  For about six months I was sleeping with Cat and had two girlfriends.  It was all about sex all the time.

It was a blast.

But it was also pretty damaging. Continue reading

Why I’m not a slut… anymore

It often surprises people when I tell them that I don’t try and get laid when I’m between relationships.  Popular opinion would say that all men are constantly trying to get into a woman’s pants, any woman’s pants.  I can’t vouch for all men, but that certainly isn’t the case for me.  Anymore, at least.

Why not?  Because of nights like this one:

Last year I was going through a dry spell, but worse than that I was really bored.

One night I get a message on one of the dating sites from an attractive older lady.  A lot older.  She was actually only a few years younger than my Mom.  I don’t mind an age gap but this was practically a generational gap.  Normally that would be an instant disqualification for me… but I was bored and she had a nice profile.  She seemed like a genuine person and was interested in me, big points in her favor.  We’ll call her Christine.

Christine was looking for a serious to long term relationship, or at least that’s what she had listed on her profile.  I was still recently divorced and not looking for anything long term at all.

But…  I was bored so I wrote her back.  She wanted to meet up for drinks that Friday night. Continue reading

I Love You

As we get older, the phrase “I Love You” becomes kind of tag-line to conversations with our significant other.  It’s like a polite way for people in long term relationships to end a discussion.

“You’ve had a long day.  I hope you sleep well.  I love you.”

“Yes.  Love you too.  Good night.”

The phrase “I love you” can easily become something like ‘good night’ or ‘have a good day’, or ‘I like you’.  It’s far too easy for the depth and meaning of the phrase to become something mundane and pointless.

If you want the phrase to have any sort of meaning at all than it has to be held back, reserved for situations that really deserve it.  Personally, that’s why I avoid saying “I love you”, because I want it to have some gravitas when I do say it.

A couple weeks ago I told Ann that I loved her.  We were having an extensive, difficult discussion about our long distance relationship.  At the end of the conversation she mentioned that she was exhausted (stupid time zone differences) and she just wanted my arms wrapped around her while she fell asleep.

With the distance involved, obviously I couldn’t hold her while she fell asleep, but I could try and reinforce my commitment to her.  I couldn’t hold her but I could tell her that I loved her before she went to bed. Continue reading

Naked Thursday #11

For all of you noobs, you can read the explanation and previous posts on the Naked Thursday page.

There are some things that are good to do on Naked Thursdays, other things not so much.

Naked car maintenance s

One of the things that isn’t so great to do on Naked Thursdays is car maintenance.

Yeah, it’s all good to want to get up close and personal with your vehicle, a man and a machine is a beautiful combination, but it might be a little too close on Naked Thursdays. Continue reading

Video Chat

date night s

 (Long Distance Date Night)

“That is so fucking hot…”

I don’t think that thought has ever run through my head so often.

Ann and I had been discussing some sexy video chatting for a while but the time difference and busy schedules kept getting in the way.  Last night we finally found the time and it was awesome, really awesome.  She mentioned it herself in a post this morning, Three tidbits to share.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect, I’ve never done any sexual video chatting before.  I almost felt a little awkward at the suggestion.  What do I do?  What do I say?  How the hell do I position my laptop? Continue reading

Body Image

So, the other day I got hit on… I think.

I was at one of the writing groups that I attend and this younger woman was paying a lot of attention to me.  She was smiling, angling her body toward me and kept trying to engage me in conversation.  She was fairly attractive, wore a low cut top that displayed a large amount of cleavage and had a few tasteful tattoos.

I basically ignored her.  I mean, I participated in the conversation, I was polite but didn’t engage her back.  It was a writing group, we were there to write, not talk.

In fact, I didn’t realize she was being flirty with me until I was driving home.

Fast forward a couple of days.

I think it happened again with a different woman at a different writing group meeting. Continue reading

On Writing

One of my goals for the year is to slowly evolve into more of a writer.  I’ve always wanted to be a writer but never seemed to make the time to do it properly.  I love reading, always have a couple books going, and it’s been a dream to write my own novels.

There’s nothing wrong with blogging, in fact I enjoy it quite a bit… but blogging isn’t necessarily writing in my mind.  Oh, there are some fantastic writers who blog and some bloggers who write extremely well, but in my opinion there’s a world of difference between writing a journal (or blog) and writing a book, story, or poem (Don’t get me started on the differences between those formats, I’ve got some strong opinions.).

So, I’ve been putting aside time for just writing.  I even joined a few writing groups to keep my motivation up.

My daughter loves to read and now lives thousands of miles away from me.  I thought a fun project would be to write a story for her.  It would be a way for us to connect despite the distance.

On writing s Continue reading

A Truly Loving Relationship

This is something I’ve been working on for weeks.  The concepts are difficult to articulate but I think it’s finally come together.

There are three different concepts that are inextricably intertwined in relationships in our society.  The terminologies might be different, but the ideas and points are all very similar… and all very wrong.  The misconceptions around these points ruin many relationships and blind us to opportunities that might lead to a happier life.



Most people don’t realize that possession plays such a large role in our romantic lives.  We don’t consciously think, “She moved in with me, that pussy is mine now,” but subconsciously that’s exactly what we think.  It’s what we expect.  In a serious relationship we believe that we own our significant other and that they own us.  This is even more obvious during marriage ceremonies where two partners vow their body, their mind and their lives to be together… forever.  That partner has “rights” to their spouse’s body.  If that spouse cheats, the other partner reacts like a first grader that just had their toy taken away; “No!  That’s mine!  I don’t wanna share!”

Jealousy is the direct result of feeling ownership over another human being, not wanting to share.

possession s Continue reading

Naked Thursday #10

For all of you noobs, you can read the explanation and previous posts on the Naked Thursday page.

(I’m not sure what’s up with WordPress this week, this Naked Thursday post has been scheduled for Thursday the 19th… but WP posted it on Tuesday.  I took it down and rescheduled it.  Then WP posted it on Wednesday.  I took it down and rescheduled it.  Hopefully that was the last time I have the weird scheduling issues.  I spruced up the pics to try and make it up to you readers.)

There are some things that are good to do on Naked Thursday, other things are not so good.

Naked Models s

Like flying model airplanes.  You might think the sun and wind over your body would be awesome, and it is, but…

Let’s just put it this way, have you ever seen an 80’s horror movie?  They were pretty much all the same, some kind of silly looking toy-like monster that ends up killing a lot of people?  Yeah, spinning props, remote controls and dangerous flying machines… there’s just too many ways this can go wrong.  Stephen King would have a field day with this situation. Continue reading