Christian Mingle

Personally, I’m a little torn on the concept of a dating site exclusively for Christians.

On one hand, I see a business profiting off a religion.  They found a niche, an unexploited market, and built the business off it.

Can you quote scripture?  Did you come from a good, quality Christian upbringing?  Have we got the dating site for you…

Now, all dating sites that charge money are exploiting single, lonely people and their hope to find a lasting relationship.  But a dating site that exploits a  specific group of people seems pretty creepy to me.  Especially when their tagline is “Find God’s match for you.”  What gives them the right to claim “God” is on their side?  Do they have some direct line to the heavens?  If so, why the fuck are they wasting it on finding dates?  What about the starving kids in Africa?  Or world peace?

Don’t believe in evolution?  Or sex before Marriage?  Have we got the dating site for you…

How is their site that much closer to God than a regular dating site?  Most of those you can search with filters to find the right “religious preference”.   But that’s not good enough, they need a whole site dedicated to a single religious group.  Wouldn’t want to bump proverbial elbows with the blasphemers.

Don’t want to go to hell?  Don’t believe in contraception or sex education?  Have we got the dating site for you…

Christian mingle

On the other hand, as a devout agnostic, I don’t really want to date any Christians.  Nothing worse than a date that breaks the ice with “So, when did you realize that Jesus Christ is your personal savior?” or “Have you been saved?”  No, bitch, I’m always this grumpy.

If all the Christians left the other dating sites to go to Christian Mingle, that increases my odds doesn’t it?  Instead of maybe 10% of females that match my searches, it might bump up to 30%.

So, that’s why I’m torn by Christian Mingle.  What’s more important to me?  The exploitation of Christian singles or my own sex life?

As if there were any doubt.

Yes, all of you Christians should totally switch to Christian Mingle.  Jews should go start the Jewish Mingle (if they haven’t already).  Catholics should do Guilty Mingle.  Muslims should to Sharia Mingle.  All of those concepts have Johnny Id’s endorsement.  Go find “God’s match for you,” I’ll just be over here on the other sites taking care of all those indecent, blasphemous, easy women for you.

Unless there’s an Atheist/Agnostic Mingle?  Is there?  Or maybe an Easy-sexually Mingle?  Oh, there is.  Craigslist.  Ok ladies, I’ll see you in the casual encounters section.  Wink, wink.  Oh yeah, NSA, D/D free… I got all the lingo for you baby.

And, as if there were any doubt, Bill Nye is the fucking man.  That should be one of those “To fuck or not to fuck” questions on any dating site, “Is Bill Nye the fucking man or not?” I know it’s a deal breaker for me.  If you don’t get that reference, google it.  Seriously, google it right now.

4 thoughts on “Christian Mingle

  1. “What gives them the right to claim “God” is on their side?”


    The other thing I notice / hate (is there a difference?) about Christian Mingle is that they seem really unaware of how to effectively spend their advertising dollars. Here’s a clue: if you’re trying to make money off of people who care about “finding God’s match” for them, figure out what shows they watch and then advertise during those. Probably family-friendly, no sex or violence-type shows. Food Network, HGTV, Game Show Network – these are all good possibilities. Is Touched by an Angel on the air at all? If so, find it and pay for some ad spots. I can guaran-fucking-tee that no one (NO ONE) watching South Park is going to get all excited about “finding God’s match” for them. So why the hell are they advertising during South Park? Money down the drain.

    Also – great graphic.

    • Very, very true. Additionally, there’s nothing more annoying than getting all worked up watching something on Showtime and then being interrupted by Christian advertising.

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