Sex Toys on Ebay

Julie and I were having a discussion about sex toys the other day and it made me wonder.  I’ve used toys with partners, and my ex had a couple vibrators, but I’d never thought about buying one for myself.  There had to be some made specifically for men, right?  I was curious, so I googled “male sex toys”.

The first two results were the sites Fleshlights and Adam and Eve, but then the third was for Ebay.


I looked at the link a little closer.  People were selling their used sex toys on Ebay.

box of dildoes

(lightly used…)

Now, this whole situation totally boggled my mind.  What would inspire a person to put their used sex toy on an auction website?  I mean, maybe if it was some famous chick selling her used vibrator there’d be some creepy dude out there that would shell out some big bucks for it.  That would be weird, but maybe understandable in some disturbing way.  But that wasn’t what was going on, it was totally ordinary people selling their old sex toys online.

What, er… huh.  Maybe… no.  Uh, I think… possibly?  Nope.  I just don’t understand any of this situation.  Why would anyone expect to get money for their old sex toys?  Why would someone go on Ebay and look for used sex toys?  Neither side of the equation makes any sense.

I mean, even if they’re bleached and in “like new” condition… Eeeewwwwww.  The thought makes my skin crawl.  That’s like sleeping on sheets that someone just fucked in.  Or a used condom.  Or a used tampon.  Or a pair of used panties.  Ok, maybe that last one is a bad example, I’ve heard used panties actually sell well (especially in Japan).  Some guys are fucking disgusting.

panty vending machine

So, what’s the moral of the story?  I don’t know, people are gross?  People are crazy?

All of this drama and I didn’t even find any male sex toys on the legitimate sites that looked interesting.  There were really only three different types; fleshlights, anal probes, and penis pumps.  None of those looked particularly appealing.   Why is it that ladies get all the fun toys?  Where’s the super-orgasmatron 3000 for men?  I’m still waiting on those Japanese to perfect the sex robot.

I suppose it’s actually a good thing that there aren’t any amazing sex toys for men, or sex robots, it would doom the human race.  The only reason we continue from generation to generation is because nothing feels even close to as good as pussy.  You can add fifteen levels of vibration, blinking LEDs, and flesh-like rubber, but it’s just never going to be as fan-fucking-tastic as the real thing.  And if someone invents something that is better?  Yeah, human race doomed.

Although, if we’ve stooped to the level of selling used sex toys, maybe we’ve reached that point where we’d be better off extinct.


9 thoughts on “Sex Toys on Ebay

  1. You aren’t looking in the right places 😉

    There are heaps of things for men, like these interesting things that you can shove your penis into to fuck… I get penis envy when I see these things because I want to stick it in and see what it feels like!!!

    There’s ball rings and cock rings, there’s gates of hells, there’s pocket pussy’s & ass, there’s the vast range of anal implements (for those of us that enjoy making our men squirm) there’s even a male masturbator!! And what’s with those fleshlights?

    Come now, don’t tell me you don’t want to stick your penis in one of those! I would… but then this is coming from a girl who would stick a penis in anything and everything if I owned one.

    I feel the urge to write a post about what I’d do with my very own penis if I had one for 3 days… because I do like my vagina and wouldn’t give it up for the world. But for 3 days, you betcha!

    • I have a hard time not laughing at all of the “Feels like a Vagina” toys out there for men. I look at it, am I’m thinking it looks like an ugly piece of rubber that vaguely looks like female anatomy. Do I want to stick my penis in there? Absolutely not. A real vagina is warm and wet, it’s inviting (not to mention it’s attached to a person). Rubber does not look vaguely inviting, it looks like someone made a mistake at the factory and they slapped “male sex toy” on it to try and make some money. A penis is a very sensitive and incredibly important organ, like most men (I think), I’m pretty picky about where I put it. If my options are fake-vagina or my hand, well, I trust my hand a whole lot more than I trust the toy with the most important part of my anatomy.

      That doesn’t mean I’m not keeping an open mind though, if I see something that looks interesting I’ll try it out and probably put up a report here.

      • I laugh as I stick my fingers inside to see what it feels like!

        You are going to have to you know. Inquiring minds need to know and all that lol

  2. I had a man pull a used toy out of a drawer and go in the bathroom and wash it off with soap and water then heading my way. I was like and what the f**k do you think you are going to do with that. He said..its clean..whats the difference in sticking a used toy in you than sticking a used male appendage. uhhhh you can philosophize all you want but that shit is not going in my precious puss. Oh hell no. That has happened to me twice. That’s crazy as hell!

    • That’s awful and very gross. No, just no. The only times I’ve used toys with partners were with her toys, or ones that I bought her as a gift. I’d never even try to reuse them like that. Nuh uh. No. Definitely crazy as hell.

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