Domesticity


I had a dream last night that got me thinking and a little nostalgic this morning.  Not in some “the old days were so great” kind of way, but there are things I used to have that I do miss.

In the dream I was staying at a very isolated, backwoods motel in the middle of the woods.  It was an old place that looked like it hadn’t been updated in forever with an attached restaurant.  At first I was investigating some weirdness in the area but “fell” for one of the young women working at the place (it was family run, she was probably in her early 20’s), she was one of those people who you’re just instantly comfortable with and the dream shifted to focus on her.  She was sexy but the dream wasn’t sexual, if that makes sense.  We spent a lot of time in the restaurant and in the dining area, talking, walking together, touching.

I could go into more detail, the rest of the dream was pretty strange and might make a good story someday, but when I woke up it was the comfort level with the woman that I really stuck with me. Continue reading

It’s that time of year again…


The less than great news today is that both of my new CL friends flaked out.  It happens, though usually I’m pretty good at picking out which ones will and which ones won’t.  Not a particularly big deal either way, a massive dose of quality time and online porn has calmed my libido down since I got back.  I’ve returned to normal, my merely average level of horniness.  Which is probably better in the long run since I make questionable decisions otherwise.

And like every cloud, this one has a silver lining…  Once again, I can willfully ignore the worst holiday of the year.

Valentines Day.

It’s like my nemesis.  It might only come around once a year but it pretty much ruins the entire month.  It’s a lose-lose, if you’re in a relationship you have to do the whole buy-her-love dance, and if you’re single than you have to deal with being bombarded with images of “love” and happy couples for weeks and weeks.  The whole mass media industry suddenly goes fucking crazy for couples and “showing” (buying) our overwhelming love for our lifetime match.

I have to stop here or I’m going to get even more angry than usual.  It’s best for me to just avoid the whole topic.

And this year I can safely do that without it affecting my sex life.  Thank the gods.

So, for the rest of you enjoying the safety of spending Valentine’s Day alone, have a good one.  Don’t forget to stock up on the wine.

(Notice I didn’t mention the Super Bowl?  Yeah, I’m not really a fan of football either.  What can I say, February is pretty much a crap month all around.)

Dipping in my… toes


Ever since I got back from my trip I’ve been ridiculously horny.  As such, I’ve found myself drifting more and more toward my old hunting grounds, the place where the darkest shadows meet, the seediest of players gather, the place that always makes me feel like I need to take an antiseptic shower…  Craig’s List.

I’m only half kidding.  Yes, CL has been a favorite of mine for a long time but it’s not (always) as bad as I make it sound.  At least not for guys.  Usually.  Sure, like an old hotel room, you might not want to go poking around with a UV light, but at least it’s cheap and easy. Continue reading

Home again, home again


Almost as soon as I heard about the craziness back home (mentioned in the previous post, Off to a bad start) I was looking for plane tickets.  Thankfully, work has been light so far this year and getting two weeks off after the holidays wasn’t such a hard sell to my bosses.

I haven’t written much about Jane, my recent FWB, I’ll have to catch up on that later, but we’d been seeing each other since Thanksgiving (which was only about a month, in hindsight).  A few days before the trip I got a text that would normally send a chill down my spine, “We need to talk.”   Continue reading

Fantasies


Yeah, I’m going to talk about masturbation and fantasies for a minute. If that’s not our cup of tea you can go back to watching The View, or whatever it was you were doing before.

Alright, so this morning I was having some “me” time. This was not out of the ordinary, even when I’m getting some I still find myself needing quality time… with myself. Anyway, as I was perusing my well loved memories for inspiration I went through the usuals and just wasn’t feeling them. I stretched back further, going over past escapades until I found one that appealed to me. Bada bing, bada boom, I’m sure you don’t need details. Continue reading

Off to a bad start


For the last few days I’ve been working a bit on a tongue-in-cheek New Years post.  It was going to be an update but generally just silly, stupid stuff.  I was trying to start off the new year with something at least a little upbeat.

Yeah, that post got derailed today.  I got a call from a family member that was unexpected.  I’m not going to go into any details, I don’t talk about other people here, but someone close ended up in the hospital.  Don’t ask for anything more specific, I won’t answer.

It’s bad though. Continue reading

A quick note


**I’m still on break until the new year, at least, but noticed something recently.**

Over the last couple months I noticed that my reader feed has gotten thin.  At first, I just thought everyone was busy and not writing as much.  ‘Tis the season, and all that.  But I decided to do a little digging anyway.  I went through my “follow” list and checked most of them to see when their last update was.

It turns out there’s been a combination of three things going on:

  1.  A lot of bloggers have quit over the last year.  Probably about two thirds of the people that I’ve followed have since stopped writing.  There’s nothing wrong with that, I’ve taken some long breaks myself, but does explain the thin feed.
  2. Apparently WP has an issue with some self-hosted sites.  There are a few bloggers that have moved to paid WP sites, rather than the free ones, and for some strange reason they stopped showing up in my feed.  I’ve noticed the issue before but it’s ongoing, requiring me to unfollow and re-follow… which I can do once I notice it’s happening again, but it’s not like I know when the posts stop showing up.
  3. Some bloggers have shifted their blog to “private”, requiring a login.  I’m just going to give a blanket statement about that.  If a blogger has set their site to private, I’m not going to request access.  Period.  To me, it’s a respectful thing.  Going private is a way of stepping back from the public gaze, to protect themselves or get some personal time, and I’m not going to try and insert myself.  So, if you went private and haven’t heard from me, don’t take it personally.  That’s just me giving you your space.

And really, I can’t say much about people not posting since I haven’t been doing much of it myself.  I’ve gotten past most of the shittiness (most) that pissed me off so badly over the last few months but I’ve just been so busy I haven’t had the time or energy to write.  Not just blog posts, I have three stories (two novels and a short story) that need to be finished and I haven’t had time to touch them either.  I did NaNo in November, had a big work project the next week, then had family down for two weeks, and this week I’m flying out to spend the holidays with my kid.  I simply won’t have time to write until the new year.  And there’s been so much to write about.

I guess I’ll finish up with a generic seasonal greeting.  My holidays are going to be crazy but fun, hopefully yours will be too.

Black Friday


Okay, I’m still on break but some stories just need to be written down (I’m still grumpy but getting laid helps).

**

I hate consumerism, I hate shopping, I hate big crowds of people, so Black Friday is the worst day of the year for me.  Most years I make an effort to not even step outside that day; it’s like a tornado, I just hide in my apartment and wait for it to pass.  However, the crazy store hours came in awfully handy this week.

Since Stephanie I’d done zero playing, dating, looking.  Nothing.  For months.  I’m still not up for anything serious mentally or physically, and I’m still moving sometime next year, but the last couple weeks I’ve been running a lot more to get ready for a race… and running really pumps up the libido.  While I might not be up for dating, I was definitely up for some f***ing. Continue reading

Taking a break


WTF, WP?  Changing the formats again?

Anyway, I’ve had a couple shitty weeks in a row, I’m pissed off and tired.  Let’s just say that the post I did a couple weeks ago, saying that the world is full of heart break and assholes was right on the money.  There’s been so many times recently, especially online, where I end up shaking my head and wondering what the hell I’m even doing.  There wasn’t any one specific situation, it’s a culmination of a lot of frustration and anger.

I have a very love-hate relationship with the internet and blogging.  That pendulum has swung into the throw-my-laptop-against-the-wall-and-go-live-with-a-pack-of-wolves phase for the last few weeks and doesn’t show any signs of improving.  So, I need a break.  A long break.

I seriously considered deleting the blog, or suspending it, but apparently you can’t do that temporarily.  If I changed my mind later on I’d have to start all over.  So, I’m just going to log out and leave it.  Maybe I’ll be back, maybe I won’t.  We’ll see.

And if you don’t see me here any time soon, keep an eye out for a particularly pale, noisy and ungraceful wolf.

Random Thought While Stuck in Traffic


This afternoon I was stuck in an everyday, yet still epic, traffic jam.  As I was highly irritated and my AC died last month, I had the windows rolled down and the metal cranked up on the radio.  I got to my favorite song and hit repeat.  For the next forty minutes I was blaring the same song over and over and over.  It amused me greatly to think I might be causing extra annoyance to fellow drivers.

I love the rhythm on that track.  Not that the audio quality of this video is very good.

Anyway, as I had plenty of time on my hands a strange thought occurred to me.  Kids these days will never know the joy of buying the new album from their favorite band and finding a secret song at the end.  This Staind album is a good example, the last ‘track’ had ten minutes of silence after the song then there’s a flowery song at the end.  That doesn’t really work with mp3 players, or iTunes, or Spotify.  One more reason to feel sorry for the following generations.