Conservative Hypocrisy


I read an article today that irked me.  This happens most days, which is why that cabin in the middle of nowhere seems more and more hospitable.

The article is an “idea” piece for the Time website: “Orthodox Christians Must Now Learn to Live As Exiles in Our Own Country“.  Essentially the piece is about how marriage and societal views have shifted away from the writer’s values, as though he and those like him are somehow now an impacted minority. Continue reading

I can be an asshole sometimes


I often tell people I’m an asshole, it’s surprising how few people believe that.  I might not be one all the time but I have flashes just like everyone else.

This evening I was having dinner with Stephanie.  She was talking about how videos were more and more common, cameras everywhere.  In some ways that’s pretty awesome, the ability to hold everyone accountable for their actions and record meaningful events.  On the other hand it’s a terrifying, 1984-esque concept.  It led to the following conversation.

Stephanie: “Someday soon we’re all going to be recorded 24/7, all accountability all the time.”

Me: “No way, uh uh.  I’ll move to a tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere if we ever reach a situation even close to that.”

(That’s not an uncommon comment from me, I often talk about how I’d rather be a hermit than live in a society I don’t like.  Which is more and more likely every day.)

Stephanie gave me a sly look: “You always picture yourself alone in that cabin or do you see someone else with you?”

I thought about that for a moment before giving her the honest answer:  “Nope, all alone.”

That pretty much ended our almost romantic evening.  No regrets.

Jurassic World


I don’t usually do reviews of things but I’ve decided to make an exception.

Did you know that Michael Crichton died a few years back?  Yeah, I hadn’t known either until I checked his Wikipedia page two years ago, looking for some other piece of information, and was startled to see that he’d passed.  How was that not huge news?  How did I not know about that?  He’s one of my favorite writers and insanely talented (he was also a Doctor, all around talented).  I’m a huge fan of Michael Crichton’s work and an equally big fan of the first Jurassic Park movie and the books.

All that to say, I hope he’s looking down and laughing at the people who put together Jurassic World. Continue reading

Quotes and generalizations


“Show me a loyal husband and I’ll show you one who’s never had a real opportunity to stray.” – Bel Mooney

I saw the above quote on a blog today… and it’s a little hard to explain how fucking angry it made me.  Not the post itself, that was fine, just the quote.  Similar statements are unfortunately common, we see them all the time, but this one very specifically pissed me off.  Really, the sexism (and cynicism) in that single line made me want to puke and then punch someone in the face.
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When I got married I was totally in love, head over heels, dedicated to her.  I did everything “right”, making sure she was taken care of, I treated her like a princess, I was responsible, respectful but fun, romantic, patient and caring… And to make sure I could take care of her I joined the Navy.  Good money, benefits, etc.  We moved far away from home, two newlyweds on an adventure.

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Why I’m terrified of this Presidential election


When I was growing up I never followed politics or the news.  We lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere, all the headlines took place in a different world.

All that changed when I joined the military.  It didn’t take long to realize that politics and world news had a huge impact on my life.  Invading Iraq?  Oh, shit.  Bush was reelected?  Oh, shit.  And all those weird places they talked about on the news?  Yeah, I’ve been there, I’ve met people there, I’ve got the t-shirt.  Everything became relevant, I started really paying attention to what was going on around the world.

Most of the time when I notice headlines about politics my reaction varies between mild disgust, surprise, and disappointment.  It’s not often that politics scares me, but I’m terrified about the next US election.  Terrified.  I haven’t been this worried since Bush won a second term. Continue reading

Stephanie


I haven’t written much about Stephanie other than briefly mentioning her in other posts.  There hasn’t been much to write about, really.  And I don’t really know what to say about her.  I’m struggling a bit and that’s unusual for me.

First off, there’s nothing wrong with her and I don’t mean this as a criticism of her.  If anything, the lackluster “relationship” is more a reflection on me.  She’s a successful woman, close to my age, easy to get along with, nice, has good friends and is interested in many of the things I am.  She’s not perfect but on paper she’s a good match for me.  However, what looks good on paper doesn’t always play out that way in real life.

Again, that’s more my fault than hers.

I met Stephanie at pretty much exactly the wrong time.  Over the last couple years I’ve had too many ups and downs, I’m exhausted.  I’m jaded.  I’m cynical.  I’m overwhelmed.  I’m so emotionally detached right now that I have zero interest in being in a relationship.  At all.  Period.  With anyone.   Sex doesn’t even interest me right now because of all the things that come with it.

She asked about how my parents were doing after my grandma died.  I told her.  She wanted to send them a little care package.  I just shrugged that off, I don’t want to have anyone I’m casually dating involved with my family, but that’s the type of person she is.

The other night she sent a brief “good night” text around dinner time.  Now, knowing her as I do, I’m sure she was going to dinner with a friend.  I didn’t ask because I didn’t really care.  A short while later a though occurred to me, she could be cheating.  It was a brief thought, more of an internal joke than anything else, but my response to that thought was remarkable.  I laughed.  There were no flashes of jealousy, no disappointment, or anything like that.  I thought if it turned out she was cheating that would be funny.  It was be an interesting twist to the situation.  She isn’t, she isn’t the type, but it would be funny if she was.

Yeah, you could say I’m detached.  I’m not sure if this is a temporary situation or the new normal but at the moment it’s kind of liberating.  I don’t care.  I could just as easily be single at the moment, and that might even be preferable.

Memorial Day


Occasions like Memorial Day bring up a lot of memories, good and bad.  I’m sure it’s similar for most veterans.  I learned a lot of valuable lessons and skills, met a lot of amazing people, it’s absolutely played a huge role in shaping my life, but even if you don’t fight on the front lines sacrifices are still made.  Overall, I did four deployments, two on Aircraft Carriers.  Sea deployments are no joke, neither is working the flight deck.

I used to tell the noobs that the day they weren’t scared up there was the day it’d kill them. Continue reading

Friday Night Update… and some music


I have over 180 draft posts in my que but most of those are fairly heavy topics or involve too much thinking.  Things with Stephanie have reached this strange limbo where I’m not sure if I’d rather leave or stay, work has been intense, for some reason I keep getting sick, and my only solace has been the various writing projects I’ve been working on.  I used to escape into reading fiction, now I escape into writing it.  So, that’s what my life has been for the last few weeks, working, coughing, writing, and sort of avoiding the girl I’ve been dating.  I could spend an hour writing and editing some in depth post about the meaning of life but somehow I don’t have the motivation, can you blame me?

Instead, I’m ignoring Stephanie’s boring texts, drinking rum and coke, and searching YouTube for music.

This week’s theme, song’s that inspired me when I was learning guitar.

Shade by Silverchair is the first song I remember taking directly to my guitar teacher and saying “show me how to play this”.  It’s not too difficult to learn but it’s a great song. Continue reading

God’s Not Dead


***Disclaimer: I have absolutely no problem with any religion or ideology on its own.  My philosophy of life is pretty straight forward, do whatever you want as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else.  Gay, straight, sexual preference, ethnicity, religion, are all irrelevant to how I interact with people.  Power to everyone.  Believe whatever you want, do whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.  It’s simple.

What I do have a problem with is how some religions sell themselves and how some lead to poor treatment of others, whether that be women, homosexuals, people with different religious beliefs, etc.  That violates my “do no harm” clause above.  If someone wants to be close-minded that’s their prerogative, as long as it doesn’t affect others.  As for marketing, some religions, or branches of those religions (emphasis on some, not all), use the same persuasive techniques that advertisers do to try and influence and shape public opinion.  I don’t have a problem with religions trying to increase their flock as long as it’s done honestly.  That’s not always the case.  It’s one thing to state your beliefs, or have an open and honest conversation, it’s another to use subterfuge.  That’s bullshit, and I have no problem calling anyone on their bullshit.***

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Friday Night Writing Music


I have quite an extensive musical palate, something that might not have been obvious through previous music posts.  So, I thought this Friday we’d do some different.  When I’m writing I’ll pick out something that fits the mood of the chapter I’m working on.  Here are some of my favorite, diverse, choices.

Weird video but Loreena McKinnett is amazing all around. Continue reading